Who knows Jimmy better than me? I organized this bachelor party like a pro and I naturally throw myself laurels. Since we don't really talk to each other anymore, he wasn't expecting it at all. Especially since we decided with his friends to have this party at Cedric's house rather than at my house as he might have expected. Cedric is our oldest mutual friend. He was the one who had advised him to have his boss's car repaired at my house.

As I had good entries, I took care of everything and invited his friends at the last moment so that the surprise did not escape. The decor sucks because obviously I have no talent for arranging things. But the drinks are top notch. I did not skimp on the means. There is no alcohol, but cocktails with sulphurous names that would make an author of an erotic novel blush. Still, I kept a few bottles of despe ​​cool. Her friends and colleagues are all there and I thought about contacting a modeling agency. They are dressed in ultra tight mini-skirts and serve drinks and snacks on stiletto heels that could put out the eye of the devil himself.

Jimmy smiles around but doesn't take his eyes off me as he drinks his ice cold coke. I want him to have fun but I have the impression that he has not yet digested my decision to move away from each other a little. I do it for his good and because it is in the order of things. Even the Bible says that a man will leave his best friend and stick to his wife. Well, the Bible almost says so.

The music is really good. The mix proposed by the DJ who is one of my clients, makes you want to get up and move your butt. But with my heels, impossible to dance. I can't even walk with it so dancing is out of the question. I almost broke my neck getting out of the car. Luckily no one was watching.

I don't know if it's my recent exchanges with Zeina, but I suddenly wanted to look a little more like a girl. She invited me to her party claiming that I had no place among the boys. I told her that I didn't belong among the girls either and she didn't insist.

Jimmy suddenly gets up after he hasn't moved from his chair since the party started. He joins me and I feel like I'm curling up a little more in the large chair. I don't want to fight at his party. His gaze glides over the white lace tied around my neck that doesn't hide much of my upper body, the low-rise skinny jeans and lace-up high heels.

Unlike the others, he didn't make any ironic comments by speaking loudly to make everyone laugh. No. He kneels in front of me and takes off my heels under the surprised gaze of his friends who know we are cold. I try to dissuade him from continuing but he is as stubborn as a margouillat who wants to swallow a fly.

"I thought you were sulking at me.

" That's what I do.

He leans towards me and whispers in my ear.

"This is the last one. Please.

He stands up and holds out his hand to me. So I grab it and take a deep breath so as not to feel the curious gaze of the others burning my skin. With a nod, he requests a song from the DJ, who shows his thumb in acceptance.

Everyone steps aside and makes room for us in the middle of the living room. We get into position. Usually he leaves a small space between our two bodies, but this time not even a butterfly's wing could pass. The intro of the song begins and the recognizable voice of Fally Ipupa flows from the speakers. It's his favorite song. The one he always puts in the car drive when we hit the road together. He is able to listen to it on repeat for a whole day and start again the next day. Even though this song is hitting me on the system now, I still stand on my tiptoes and hug it. He places his left hand very low on my hips. Too low. Taken aback, I gaze into his. I open my mouth to ask him what he's doing.

"Shut up ok. You're going to ruin everything. Dance with me."

His voice is as hoarse as if he had just woken up from a bad dream.Fally sings:

« Once again I couldn't find the words

Please don't leave

I need time to take the plunge

I'm afraid of drowning in your eyes

Because you give me wings

When I land with a weakened heart

I'm in agony so far from you

I fall and when I land oh my darling

Let me take refuge in your arms. »

I don't know if it's because I'm wearing some kind of lace bra top that I feel like I feel tingles all over my skin. The tips of my breasts touch his chest at times, tickling the sensitivity each time. I undulate my hips and he closes his eyes before nudging us a few steps to the left. Then he stops and passes his leg between mine, forcing me to dance in slow motion the intimacy glued to this leg. While the voice of Fally Ipupa asks me to make it hover and give it wings.

When I land with a weak heart

I'm in agony so far from you

I fall and when I land ooh my darling

Let me take refuge in your arms

We have danced hundreds of dances since he trained me in his love for kizomba dance. But this is the first time I feel like I'm dancing with a man I don't know. A man who... wants me? It freaks me out because I'm sure I'm wrong. So I push him away violently.

At the same time Fally resumes his verse, tells me things that I don't want to hear from his mouth or read in Jimmy's eyes. I want to walk away but Jimmy grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. I find myself imprisoned and the friends present scream in applause, thinking that it is a phase of the choreography. I feel Jimmy's heart beating so hard it feels like it wants to come out of his chest and into mine. And Fally continues to sing:

« You can lay your heart between my two palms

I deliver mine to you on an emerald platter

You can lay your heart between my two palms

I deliver mine to you on an emerald platter

Oooh mama, come back baby, come back baby, come back my love »

I put aside all my certainties to let the song take possession of me because that's what his gaze commands me to do. I feel like her skin ignites mine the moment she touches it. The people around me are slowly disappearing. I can't even hear the hubbub of chatter in the living room. There is only the music, his body and mine.

And we dance as if there was no one around us.

The evening is now very late and I'm rocking on my legs because I've drunk way more than necessary but if I'm not completely drunk yet. Everyone wonders how non-alcoholic cocktails can have such an effect on me.

He danced with other girls. But not like he danced with me. And we couldn't talk to each other again because nobody wants to let go of his sneakers. It's good that way because in reality I'm afraid we're talking to each other. The lyrics of the song never left me. And I don't know what to think of this evening. I've been avoiding her for three months, getting closer to Zeina because she's a great girl. We get to know her.

But for now, I don't think about her. I think of the words that haunt me. Each drop of alcohol swallowed seems to increase their effect on me tenfold. I have the impression that I too now need to take refuge in his arms. Jimmy is my best friend. He was never more than that. Is not it ? Am I not simply jealous of the place that Zeina will occupy? Maybe that's why my brain starts playing tricks on me and distorting the reality around me.

I need to get some fresh air to sober up a bit. When I open the kitchen door that leads to the backyard that Cedric shares with his neighbor, I see in front of me two of the young girls invited to the evening as hostesses, chatting quietly with each other. With a body like theirs, I too will hang around instead of working. I think about signaling my presence, when I realize that they are talking about me.

" If the two there are not sleeping together, my name is not Patricia. When Fally sings Oooh mom, come back darling, come back baby, come back my love. Boule koo, boule koo, yo poude ngai po nini… And that I I saw the face he made, I assure you that I had goosebumps.

“Hmmm. You have too much imagination. You saw how she looks like a boy.

"Rho she's just fine.

"What? She's lean but muscular. Her square shoulders there, didn't you see that?"

"I'm telling you that there's something weird between the two.

"Mom, it's true that he's not handsome, huh, but he has charm. Myself there, if it wasn't the fiance, I was going to try something. So he can fuck real women This one is too nasty, sorry. If she could reduce her lips a little there, that would fix it… In addition, I saw a photo of the fiancee in question : the beauty of the woman. You can't Wrestle.

"She's weird it's true. Maybe she's a lesbian and that's why they're friends. After all I think she was the one who organized the party when he didn't Only her boy friends. She must be a lesbian.

"Hmm, the things that the whites took away. The African woman is voluptuous. The buttocks and the breasts in a package... Have you seen her body? You sleep with her it's as if you had sticks in your bed...

They both burst out laughing. I think I've heard enough of that. I turn to go back to a seat in the corner of the living room and bump into Jimmy's chest. That was really all that was missing. He heard it all.

"Why are you dressed like that?

"I dress how I want Jimmy, what's your problem?

“My problem is that you are vulgar like that.

I really want to tell him to go get it… but the two girls burst out laughing again when talking about me.

"Don't move, wait for me here," he said as calmly as possible.

I don't turn around to see what he's doing. I just hear him asking the girls to get out of the party. They demand their pay. I hear "a whore" in his sentence and I guess he's starting to get angry. I'm not expecting it.

This kind of stuff shouldn't even bother me anymore. I've been told this all my life and yet it still hurts so much. These girls are still having to attend parties as waitresses to earn a living. Me, despite my stupidity on the school benches, I took over my father's garage and today I don't need odd jobs to live. I shouldn't feel belittled by them. And yet. It still hurts so much. Especially when Jimmy adds a layer of it. And if it hurts it's because despite all the assurance that I display, there is a small part of me that thinks it's still true. I'm not sexy or desirable like that. I just look vulgar.

As I slip my key into the ignition someone knocks on my window. It's not Jimmy but William from CFAO.

"What the hell are you doing here Manuella?

He smiles at me with all his teeth, and seems happy to see me. I feel that I haven't totally sobered up so I go downstairs to have a little chat with him. He hisses and takes a step back to admire me once I step back after giving him a kiss.

“Manuella! Seriously it’s you.

"If you say anything, I'll punch you in the balls.

“I am at attention for you and you are threatening me. You are super sexy my beautiful.

I look him straight in the eye to detect the mockery there, but he seems sincere. I'm too surprised to react. His gaze slides over me then back to my chest.

"That's nice, I finally whisper.

" What are you doing ?

"I was at a party and I would like to go home now except that I must confess that I am not sure I can drive.

"I'll take you if you want. My car is just parked there 10 meters away," he said, gesturing at me with his chin.

It is a superb luxury sedan not yet registered.

"But first I want you to do me a favor.

Every time, he will ask me to revise it.

"Have a drink with me, please.

"Okay…I stammer as I watch Jimmy walk up to us with my shoes in hand. But here we go now."

" No problem.

I lock my car and follow him as Jimmy calls out to me without looking back.

To be continued...