I jerked my head up so quickly that I immediately blacked out and grabbed my head, groaning. "I think she's awake!" said the woman. "I see that too!"

I still squeezed my eyes shut because of the nausea that was coming on. Then I squinted into the light.

I was just lying on a couch in a cozy living room. A young woman sat in an armchair in front of me and grinned strangely at me. She had really beautiful blue eyes that looked kind of familiar to me. My gaze continued to wander and when my gaze fell on the two men standing a few meters away from me watching me, I involuntarily flinched away.

In front of me stood the ice block and the dancing bear. But unlike the last time I saw them, they were now wearing normal clothes that made them look less serious. Nevertheless, I felt the oppressive power that emanated from them. Yep, alpha and beta.

Dancing Bear came towards me with his hands raised, as if I were a deer he didn't want to scare away. "Hey, take it easy. You hit your head a lot," he smiled, but I just stared at him. His black curls fell low over his forehead. Suddenly it hit me. I was in a room with wolves. Really powerful wolves. And once again I just stared at him stupidly. So I had already insulted him once. Who knew what he would do to me? As quickly as I could without passing out, I jumped off the couch, putting a few feet between us.

"Wow, what does she have?" the girl asked, looking at me with furrowed brows. Dancing Bear turned to her.

"Not now, Reyna!" he growled menacingly, but she just shrugged her shoulders. So the girl's name was Reyna, good to know. But I quickly turned my attention back to the big guy in front of me.

He took another step toward me, but I backed away. Was he disappointed? I don't know, I've never really been able to read the emotions on faces. "How rude of us. That guy over there is Elijah," he pointed at Eisblock, who just nodded at me through gritted teeth. He didn't seem so threatening anymore in his sweatpants and shirt. But now, in the clear light coming from the lamp, I saw his facial features for the first time. I gasped in shock. His features were sharp, but what didn't look bad on him, what frightened me more was the deep scar that ran from his right eye to his cheek. He had seen terrible things, I was sure.

"I'm Cassian. Cassian Pandoria," the man with black curls drew attention to himself. I stared at him in disbelief. Then something rattled in my head. I knew the name. But from where?

Then it hit me. Before I knew what I was doing, my survival instincts took over. I backed away as quickly as I could until I felt a wall at my back. I was dead! I had to get out of here, and quickly. I looked around searching. The room was wooden, from which I concluded that I was in a wooden house. An open hallway led into a kitchen and... There! Behind Elijah, I spotted a large glass door. Behind her stretched a forest shrouded in darkness. The part of my brain that could still process things realized that I was in some cabin in the woods. And it was night! They would kill me here. I started shaking.

I could try to get outside. But it was dark and it was the forest. Besides, the wolves were faster and stronger than me. I wouldn't be able to hide for long either. Either I would freeze to death soon or they would smell me. So running wasn't possible. But I wouldn't go down without a fight.

Because I would have to fight. Because in front of me stood Cassian Pandora. One of, if not the most powerful, Alpha of the northern packs. The stories that were told about him were cruel and I did not doubt that I wouldn't survive as long with him as I did with Lucien. His pack was considered cold-blooded and as a human, I wouldn't have a chance. So I only had one choice, I had to make it to the kitchen somehow. Maybe there were silver knives there. Or knives in general would be helpful.

"Cassian, maybe you should-" but the Alpha interrupted his Beta.

"What's your name?" his voice was curious as Cassian took another step towards me. I could not answer. I was too focused on estimating the distance to the kitchen. I could do it. I just had to distract her somehow.

"What's your name?" he asked again when I didn't reply. But this time it wasn't a question, it was an order. My head snapped to him and I froze. He was only a few meters away from me. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he studied me closely. The tone of his voice was that of an alpha and reminded me of what I was. Before I knew what I was doing, I submitted. But that seemed to bother him even more because he let out an angry growl.

"Cassian, she's scared," Rey stated and the alpha turned to the girl. This was my chance. My legs started moving automatically and I ran into the kitchen. As quickly as I could, I began ripping open various drawers in the lovely room. I became more and more panicked. Which kitchen didn't have a killer knife?

“What are you doing?” Cassian asked me, who now entered the kitchen. He looked at me like I was mentally ill. Maybe I was too, but that doesn't matter now.

Rey followed him into the kitchen, but I didn't notice because I almost laughed out loud with relief. In the next drawer, there was a large knife that glittered dangerously in the light. I doubted it was silver, but in an emergency, I could use it differently.

With a jerk, I pulled the knife out of the drawer clutched it in both hands, and pointed it at Cassian. He just stared at me completely dumbfounded. My hands were shaking as I backed up so far that I could feel the kitchen counter against my back. I had to breathe! I took a shaky breath.

"What- Okay.. What the hell?" was all he could say. Now I also noticed how Elijah had positioned himself next to him. All three of them were now standing at the entrance to the kitchen, blocking my way out. I saw a wide variety of emotions on their faces.

Elijah looked at me like he was calculating my next move, Cassian looked at me like I had two heads, and Rey...yes Rey looked at me sadly. But I really couldn't deal with her emotions right now. Maybe I would stab her in the next moment! Oh gods, could I even do that? How young was she? She couldn't be older than 16! But they would kill me, lock me back in a hole like the one I escaped from, remember again.

And in that moment I made a decision. Under no circumstances would I endure this again. All the years, all the pain. Never again, not with me.

I'd rather die. As soon as I thought that thought, I knew it was true. Maybe I wouldn't be able to win. But I would make sure they didn't get me alive.

Something changed in Cassian's face. He seemed to understand that I was serious. My hands were now clammy, so I was afraid the blade would slip out of my hand. But she didn't. I gathered all my courage and lifted my head. I looked straight into the Alpha's eyes.

Cassian stepped towards me and raised his hands as a sign that he was unarmed. As if he needed weapons. "Hey, put the gun down. Let's talk," I didn't respond. "What's your name?" he asked calmly this time. He seemed completely unfazed by the fact that I was pointing a knife at him.

" Lucy, my name is Lucy." I was proud of myself that my voice didn't shake. Maybe it was just my imagination, but I could swear that the corners of Cassain's mouth twitched. Did he think my name was funny? I gritted my teeth.

As if I were a newspaper seller and not someone pointing a gun at him, he shoved his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants and walked toward me, untouched. He tilted his head and looked at me as if I were an animal in a zoo. I was starting to get angry! Was he completely unconcerned about the fact that I was going to drive a knife into his stomach at any moment?

He came close to me, too close.

"Stop, don't take a step closer!" I snapped when he was only a few steps away from me. His eyes widened in surprise, but he did as I said. "Listen, Lucy, put the knife down," he emphasized my name so strangely. I shook my head. "I think she's serious, Cassian," Reyna said from the entrance to the kitchen. Cassian rolled his eyes, he rolled his eyes!

"I'm aware of that, Rey!" he said without taking his eyes off me.

"What are you trying to do with that toothpick? You're aware that we're wolves?" I didn't answer, but I had to admit that he made me quite unsettled with that. "You don't want to fight with us, we don't want to give you-" "

And whether I will fight!" I interrupted him. My voice was shaking. Damn, I showed weakness.

He closed his eyes for a moment as if annoyed. He was annoyed by my attempt to defend myself. I was slowly having enough of this arrogant snot!

“Can you fight?” he asked amused. No, I couldn't do that. As soon as I attacked him, they would have already bitten my throat. Or worse, they would torture me for having the audacity to attack the Alpha.

Something clicked in my head.

I wouldn't survive this situation. I would die either way. The only thing I had left in my hand was like. I had never made this decision before in my life. I wouldn't let my pride be taken away from me. That was all I had. If I was going to die, then I would decide how.

For a moment I stared at the now warm metal in my hand. I felt tears slowly gathering in my eyes and the fear of the next few minutes flooding my body. But I banished these thoughts. I couldn't have any doubts now. I had to be strong again. One last time.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded briefly. It was decided.

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I looked Cassian in the eyes again. "All my life, I've only known darkness," my voice choked with tears, but that didn't matter now. I won't have to prove anything to anyone anymore. I would say what I had to say and they would listen to me. At least that's what they owed me.

"I have served and suffered," I looked at the metal again.

"A shadow," I repeated Iris's words. Then I smiled. "I never screamed." They probably didn't understand what I was talking about. My eyes darted to Rey.

She had tears in her eyes. As if she understood. But she didn't. She didn't know me and never would. But that was okay. I don't want to know anyone anymore. Because they are evil. Monsters. "But I will never serve again, never feel pain again," I looked back at the almighty Alpha. I smiled at him. I smiled at him because I felt sorry for him. He would never understand, never know. He would just have to live in this world full of monsters. And that's why I felt sorry for him.

He looked at me completely dumbfounded.

I turned the knife so that the trembling blade was now aimed at my stomach. His face changed.

His features contorted into an expression of sheer panic, and in his eyes, I saw the horror of death. He realized what I was trying to do. But I closed my eyes.

I smiled as I felt my tears still falling. I smiled because I knew I would see her again soon.

Mom.

At that moment I realized that I would never feel the sun again. I'll never smell the scent of rain again. I would never feel the pages of a book again. But I wouldn't suffer anymore either. I would no longer be afraid if I would see the next day. I would finally be free.

"I'll never be a shadow again," and with those words on my lips, I thrust.