I looked to my right and almost had a heart attack. The Alpha sat in a chair right next to my bed. Holy shit? Why was the Alpha sitting on my bed? Curious, I tilted my head and looked at him. He looked tired, no wrong, he looked completely exhausted. His closed eyes outlined thick dark circles while his curls stuck out in all directions. At that moment he didn't look like an alpha, no, he seemed peaceful, almost nice, like... like a human.

His head was on his neck and his chest was heaving with heavy breathing. He seemed young. When I found myself lusting after one of the most dangerous creatures in the world, I wanted to slap myself.

I had tried to kill myself. The realization hit me like a moment ago and seemed to crush me. And I had a reason too. But the confusing thing is that I wasn't dead. And contrary to all my suspicions, I wasn't in a damp cellar hole. I wasn't back. No, they helped me. Why?

I tried to sit up but hissed in pain. I pushed yours aside and looked at my heavily wrapped thigh. There was something there.

I still had to get out of there before he woke up. They may have helped me, but I still won't trust wolves.

The pain nearly knocked me out as I performed. Oh, this was going to be more painful than I thought. I carefully took one step in front of the other, but after just two steps I wanted to cry! I was pathetic. But I almost had it. I was jerked back by my arm. I had completely overlooked the needle that was deep in my arm and connecting me to the beeping monitor. The pain was even greater now.

I took a deep breath, this is going to hurt. I clutched the needle with one hand ready to pull it out when a deep voice startled me. “What’s this going to happen?”, squealing in surprise, I took a few steps back. I stared at him as he stared back with his arms crossed. I felt like a little girl who stole a cookie.

"I- I wanted to" I stuttered.

“What did you want?” he asked challengingly. As soon as I woke up he was an idiot again! Nothing mattered now anyway!

"Get away! That's what I wanted!" I snapped angrily. “Like yesterday?”

I frowned in confusion.

"I didn't want to run away yesterday. I wanted to"

"That's right! You wanted to kill yourself yesterday!" he shouted angrily, so I immediately backed away. Because I had completely forgotten about the pain in my leg.

"Wow! Maybe you should lie down again!" he continued now with a serious expression. I didn't know this Alpha, but he pissed me off! Couldn't he finally finish it? I wasn't in the mood anymore! I wanted to scream! To hit someone! Do something!

"No! I won't lie down!" I said defiantly. I saw a muscle in his jaw twitch. "Lucy, lie down!", that was an order. An Alpha's command and I refused! Did they drug me?

I shook my head.

"No! I want to know what's going on here now!" I demanded.

"We would have told you that yesterday if you hadn't tried to kill yourself!" he hissed.

I pulled my hair out.

"I would rather die than have to go through all of this again! I would rather die than feel this again! So go ahead! Do what you can't help doing!" I cried.

I stepped towards him.

"So what are you going to do? Lock me up? Enslave me? Or are you going to show some decency and get it over with now?" He backed away from me, completely perplexed. He backed away from me. But I was already so angry that I just took another step towards him.

He lowered his arms and now looked...sad. He looked at me with pity, but that made me even angrier. "You think we would do that to you?"

I snorted, "You've been doing that to me my whole life! All of you! You're no different than Him! I know men like you! You think you can take everything. You think you're above everything! So let's go! "

I was now standing directly in front of him.

My vision was red. The sadness, the loneliness, the pain, it all turned into indescribable anger. And I didn't care! Just everything! And so I start up to him and do the unthinkable. I smacked him. Far too surprised that I, a human being, a servant, was rushing towards him like a fury, he didn't see the first blow coming.

He looked down at me with wide eyes. But I wasn't myself. Guided by all the anger, I began to beat wildly on his chest.

"Do it! Do it at last! You coward! Finish it!" I shouted at him between sobs.

Now it was official, I was completely freaked out.

As quickly as the anger came, it was gone again. Completely exhausted, my fists slipped from his chest. I was breathing way too fast as I pulled away from him.

What had I done? Was I really that stupid? I had beaten a Pandora? What had happened to my survival instinct? What had changed?

I was tired. That had changed.

I looked up at him, but he didn't seem angry. His eyes were worried and sad. Too quickly for my eyes to follow, he came up to me and... hugged me. Cassian wrapped his strong arms around me and held me to his chest. Completely overwhelmed by his reaction, I stiffened under his touch. But then I couldn't help it. Something about his touch felt good. Something about the feeling of a hug woke me up from my stupor. Before I realized what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my head in his neck.

My breathing was still shaky. I felt him gently stroke my head and it worked. I felt myself becoming calmer. "Shh. It's okay. You're free. It's over.", I heard him murmur.

I pulled away from him and took a few steps back so I could look him in the eyes. "What-what are you doing with Me now?" I asked all the self-confidence I had had for a few seconds gone.

He smiled slightly.

"Talk."