I almost fell while watching Leion, having sex with another woman, and I am sure that she's not Carrie.

In the middle of the night, after the argument with Leion, I decided to sleep early, but when I heard a loud moan, my mind and body instantly woke up and look where it is, and Leion is having sex at the study room.

I can't breathe properly, I didn't expect to see this kind of scenery. Leion knows how to disrespect and hurt me in many ways, just look at what he is doing now.

Their loud moan breaks my heart into pieces, wondering if I did something wrong before because this suffering is too much.

Even though I already saw that there is no chance for me and Leion, I am still hoping that one day, he will finally look at me, and realize that he loves me and needs me, but I always have failed, drowned by my illusions, and wishing that I can undo my feelings for him, like a switch.

But here I am, listing to them and crying.

If I end my life, maybe it will lift the suffering that I feel. Or maybe I can kill that woman because I know that I have the right to kill her, they are having sex at my house, and I am the legal wife.

I went to the kitchen, it feels like my whole body is cold, holding the knife and walking to the door of a study room, I can see how Leion is enjoying it now.

I am his wife, he can use me, not another woman that I don't even know where he gets. I allowed him to continue his relationship with Carrie, I accepted it even though it was not what I want, and after the argument with him, he take home another woman.

My tears fall like it's a waterfall, when Leion looked at the door, moving like a beast, and the moan of the woman he is fucking became louder, I hate every glace he did while fucking another woman.

I can't take it anymore, I ran back to my room and closed the door, still holding the knife pressed my finger at the sharpest part of a knife.

Seeing my blood, I can endure this kind of pain, and I find it comforting, seeing blood and feeling the pain in my body.

To my surprise, when I cut my wrist, and see the blood flowing down on my pale complexion, it looks like inviting me to press it harder, to see more blood and ease the pain in my chest.

I never felt this good before, maybe I looked insane right now, but the pain is comforting me.

"Just end my suffering, this is too much," I whispered and feel dizzy.