After the day that Leion almost slapped me, he didn't eat at home for several days. He came home late, but he was leaving in the morning. I was just getting dressed at home. I don't know anymore, because of the depth of my sleep, and I can't wait for him to come home.

 

It's sad, but I can't help but let Leion get angry at whatever news reaches him.

 

But I always hope that one day he will see the true value of the things I sacrificed for him. I know he will tell me that I was not ordered to do that; it was my decision because I love Leion.

 

I'm thinking, what would it feel like to love you back? If I could just command my heart to stop dreaming about the impossible because I'm close to the point where I can accept that I'm not loved.

 

If only I could go back to yesterday, when I didn't have to lock up the person I love, just for the favor I did.

 

I smiled weakly and plucked up the courage before getting out of my car, and now I'm in the mall. To pick up the laundry and shop for stocks at home today.

 

My stocks of alcohol are also depleted, which I probably just used up every night. There is nothing I can do because I have already told my acquaintances and friends that I am happy and that Leion loves me.

 

I walk to the supermarket, get a push cart, and go to the meat section first. At first, I was crying, wanting to call the maid to our house, because my parents didn't raise me to be a housewife.

 

They trained me as a candidate for managing the company of Monyezur, so I am not like other women who are good at cooking, cleaning, and doing housework.

 

And look at me now. After a year of being a housewife, I find peace in cleaning. I know that there are a lot of things that I need to learn, but I will learn little by little.

 

Maybe because they notice that there are guards in the distance who seem to have followed me. This is for safety purposes when I get out of the house.

 

I'm already in fruit; the soft ones are on top and the hard groceries are on the bottom, and Leion's favorite sweet and spicy foods won't go away.

 

I was happy to finish shopping and was just going to pay at the counter when I saw that Leion had passed in front of the supermarket with Carmie and Leion was on Carmie's arm.

 

I started to turn pale, scared, and nervous. What if the guards saw that, and not only that, there were people who knew Leion?

 

I quickly took out my phone. I called, but there was no answer, so I just texted and put on my face mask, because the whispers of people who knew Leion were getting louder.

 

What is he thinking? It's not bad that he and Carmie are dating; the bad thing is that someone will see them. I don't know what my parents might do to Leion, especially to Leion's family, when this news comes.

 

My god, I thought Leion was being cautious about his actions, but I made a mistake!

 

After I finished my shopping, I paid for it and I rushed to get into my car. My breath was catching, my chest hurt, and it felt like it was going to explode with so much pain, which was the reason for my difficulty breathing.

 

"Damn it, even if it's breaking and hurting me, I can't stop loving you."