I watched the rustling and noisy pulling of the steel chair while cautiously peering through a small window. I was still wincing because of the noise caused by the pulling, it was terrifying! I wet my lips before straightening up because my leg was also shaking. Who wouldn't sing after standing for an hour?

"Make it faster, guys. We need to submit that evaluation slip to Mr. Salvador before 5," he said in a firm voice.

I first stared at the entirety of his face. Her thick eyebrows, sharp nose, deep brown eyes, red lips that are all a rose and a perfect jawline. He bit his lip before looking back at his teammates.

"Hey, you again? Your room is in the other building. Why are you here?" the woman asked me flatly.

I put my index finger on my lips to signal him to be quiet. I ask any angel to guide me so that no one else notices my presence.

"Okay," he shrugged when he saw what I was looking at.

It's not because I'm ashamed of myself, but because you know the feeling that when he sees me and then he looks at me as if I'm gone, my world is immediately messed up. I don't care about the people who see me if they get annoyed because they see me like a mushroom that pops in and out of where this man is and I can't do anything. They will be angry if they are angry with me as long as I am? Does not care.

First of all, they have no contribution in my life. They are not the ones who feed, clothe, take care and educate me so they should not interfere in what I do. As long as I don't step on other people, I don't care. Is glancing at the person you admire bad? I built myself not only to judge by the others. Not to be judged by other people who had nothing to contribute in my life.

I turned my attention back to Rapha who was frowning and looking down at the paper the person next to her was showing her. He adjusted his posture and played with his lips for a moment. I stared at him like a cherished object that would disappear if I looked away. A few beads of sweat begin to form on my forehead. I tightened my grip on the bag hanging on my shoulder because it might make a noise when it falls. It's nice to watch him, maybe if I just knew that he wouldn't see me, maybe I wouldn't feel nervous.

I have been going back and forth to their room several times and I have almost memorized his schedule. I fixed my hand on the window and stared at him again. My chest starts pounding because I know they are about to finish what they are doing. It was like slow motion in my eyes as he slowly pulled out his hair. My lips parted as I watched what he was doing. She looks like a model who is now being photographed. He is five years older than me so his muscular body is more curvy. In the movement of his arm, I saw it tense up. Did he work out? Go to the gym when you don't have school? I also have classmates who go to the gym but their body is not as good as hers!

"Rapha, can you first approach your stalker who was here a while ago and was looking out the window so Wayne and Krent can't focus because of him," Ate Pia complained and pointed out my behavior.

I immediately panicked, Aunt Pia! You always see me while Rapha doesn't! then you will notice me? My heart is starting to beat faster again. I'm nervous that Rapha might approach me and forbid me to look here again. What's wrong with what I'm doing? I didn't cut class! We are vacant and I was brought here to their room!

I took the handkerchief from the pocket of the bag and slowly wiped my forehead. It seems that my heart is beating so hard that I am deaf. It's not the first time someone has seen me but it's still scary!

"You're here again," roared a serious voice.

I clenched my fist because of the sudden coldness of my whole body. Even if I don't look at him, I know it's him. The one and only man who makes different emotions flow through my system.

I didn't want to look up at him, I kept looking at my black shoes. I can't look at her beautiful eyes now that she's in front of me because when I look at her, my heart is sure to break.

"You are getting used to coming here too much. Your room is in the other building, am I right? Why are you here again? Can you stop hanging out here outside our room because my other groupmates will not be distracted ," he said in a cold voice, irritated.

I bit my lip in embarrassment. So, he knows I've always been here? It was as if someone suddenly rejoiced inside me because he said I was in the other building, does that mean he knows me? I heard him let out a deep breath but my heart was still beating stronger. Nothing can beat the noise of my heart.

"I-I just passed by," I excuse before squeezing both hands.

Even though my knees were shaking, I still tried to stand up. I bravely looked up at him and was immediately turned away because his gaze was like a burning one. If from a distance I could stare at him full of wonder, now I can't because his brown eyes are melting me.

He chuckled "That's what you're saying when other members of my group see you. Can't you do anything in life? Because you're just messing with us," he said annoyed.

I looked at his hand out of his pocket and nodded. I knew someone was still looking at me because he spoke a little loudly and there were signs of extreme irritation.

"Does it look bad?" I pointed to the window. "I'm just there and I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm not opening my mouth just so I can't make a noise--"

"Shut up," he said calmly but still showing signs of irritation.

I immediately closed my mouth and bit my tongue to stop talking. Maybe because he will only get more irritated with me if I speak more. But it's true that I'm not doing anything wrong! Is it bad to look at him?

"It's not good that you're always here in our building, you disturb us." he said with a hint of irritation.

I couldn't do anything but bite my bottom lip while bending over while squeezing my hand. Even if I wanted to answer, I couldn't muster up the courage as if I was a dog being scolded by its master for being too naughty.

"So stop roaming around. It's better to study hard," he admonished me.

I would like to answer that I am studying hard! Maybe I don't have honors or medals but at least I'm still studying hard. Reviewing as much as I can! Does he want a girl with good grades? The one whose grades are close to 100? When I get 90 plus grades on the report card will he like me?

"Bro, Kaela has a crush on you! Don't you know? Almost all the students know, but you don't even know!" I heard a man on the road shout and laugh a little.

I closed my eyes and slightly tilted my head to see who my kind schoolmate was who had put me in a burning fire. I looked at Rapha who sipped a little. He was looking inside their classroom while raising his eyebrows. I also saw the slight movement of his jaw. He looked back at me in annoyance because of my sudden withdrawal. When he suddenly looked at me, it was as if my heart suddenly jumped out of fear.

He even washed his face as if he was very troubled. Does he hate me so much that even if I don't do anything wrong, he still gets irritated?

"We're about to finish, leave or Pia might report you to Mr. Salvador and get scolded. Go away, kid." he repels me.

The last word he uttered was like a slap to me. I know he's older than me but what's wrong with that? Does he still need to show me our age gap? 'Besides, you shouldn't be based on someone's age when you love them! After all, I'm the only one who feels a strange feeling.

He even raised his hand and moved it as if I were a fly he was pimping. I stared into his eyes for a moment as he looked at me lazily. He seems to hate my presence again.

"Sorry," I said sadly before bowing.

He smirked "Yeah, just go," he repelled again.

When he pushed me away, it was like he was pushing my heart away. As much as I wanted to stop walking and watch his every move, I lost my courage. I looked at the people I met as if they were whispering to me and they would shake their heads and smile at me.

Well, I know that many people also like him and that my actions are not new to him.

"I heard earlier that they caught Rapha peeking out the window again. That boy is dead to Rapha while he is far from liking him because Rapha's types are older or the same age. "It's a shame that young Kaela is still beautiful. My cousin even had a crush on her and was just stupid because she knew she'd be bashed," I heard a woman say.

I don't know if he deliberately raised his voice so that I could hear him or if his voice was just loud. I adjusted my seat and placed my bag on the table. No one approached me unlike a normal student who, when seen alone, an acquaintance or friend would suddenly appear. In my situation it is unclear because for them I am difficult to live with.

I propped my elbow on the table and rested the sense on my right palm. I sighed as I watched the bright sky. The delicate blue color and beautiful shape of the dancing clouds made me smile. A strong gust of wind caused me to close my eyes. I looked at Rapha's room again in the distance. The other members of his group were coming out just in time.

I wiped and rubbed my eyes to make what I could see clearer. He was carrying his black bag in his other hand while Aica was holding the other hand. The woman said earlier that Rapha likes someone her age or older than her.

Aica has her glass body and I know she is just the same age as Rapha. His blonde hair is short, although from a little distance I can see his red cheeks as if he had been slapped by some horses. I was shaken by my thoughts.

The other students who passed in front of me immediately looked at me. I smiled at them and they smiled back at me while scratching their necks as if they were crazy about my smile. My smile disappeared when Rapha and Aica suddenly entered the door. My heart is starting to beat faster. My heart started pounding so hard again. I don't know how many times I swallowed in a row while watching them sit in a seat close to me.

Aica even grinned at me as if she was making me look like nothing on her little finger because the person I love so much belongs to her. As if you will last a long time! Nothing is permanent in the world. Not to be bitter, but what I said is true, everything has an end.

With Aica's irritation, I was tormented because couldn't she just sit and be quiet or at least respect my feelings? I bit my lip as soon as I noticed that Rapha saw my pain. OK! I didn't mean it just really irritated me! He ran his fingers through his hair before shaking his head as if I had failed him again with my behavior.

"What do you want?" He said softly to Aica that he also tortured me.

My chest was tight so I avoided looking at them. I wish I could just be Aica. I hope he's only talking to me. Why can't I just be Rapha? Why him? I closed my eyes before sighing. I am ashamed of myself because I promised that I will never be jealous of others because for me it's not good to be insecure to someone.

I'm ashamed of myself because of this man who makes me question what I have. I wish you could have just chosen me, Rapha.