The day at work the next day helped me forget a bit, even though I was in a terrible mood. I whispered a curt "hello sir" to Wesley when I walked in and left without even giving him time to respond.

All men disgusted me except Nelson. He immediately felt that there was a problem because usually I was very jovial, smiling. But he didn't ask me any questions, which I really appreciated.

He was just very considerate, very nice, at one point Michèle passed by us with her always haughty air. Nelson stampeded.

Nelson: really this one as she goes out with the boss, she thinks she's the boss too.

WHAT??? Resounded in my head, my heart beat. I understand now why she looked at me at first, she must have taken me for her rival.

Me: Really? To the point where people are aware?

Nelson: It was she herself, I think, who dropped it on Nelly (a colleague) one day and then it shows. You know we've been here since, right? There are small signs that do not deceive.

Should that even surprise me? All men are the same, even him Wesley under his grand airs, I understand why I no longer attracted him. So he had a wife and a mistress, all that even disgusted me. What world are we even in where loyalty no longer exists?

The day continued unabated. I had instructed the girl in the lobby to tell anyone who picked me up that I hadn't been to work that day. My darling, pfff my ex darling yes had never had time to come see me at the office but I knew he would try to do it especially given the hundreds of calls since the morning.

I returned to the hotel around 10 p.m. exhausted, I was tired of hearing my phone vibrate so at William's umpteenth attempt I decided to pick up. I felt his surprise on the other end of the line, marked by the tone of his voice.

William: Ashley oh thank you, thank you for picking up, thank you for agreeing to talk to me. If you don't want to talk just listen to me please. We've been through so much together, you can't leave like this. I made a terrible mistake and I'm sincerely sorry. Can we just meet and talk please?

I wanted to say no but I didn't want to dither with him.

Me: Not now please. I will listen to what you have to say to me but please not now. I take some time for myself.

William: When Ashley? Give me a firm date I beg you I'm going crazy. Please I just want to know when.

Me: Do you think maybe it's party on my side? Look I don't know besides I'm tired.

William: You can't leave me like that, just give me a date.

Me: Get the hell out of me, you're not in a position to demand anything. Instead, go demand your things from your bitch.

I hung up, he called back, I didn't pick up, he texted me. « You are right, I have no right to demand anything. I just want you to let me know when you can. I just want to talk to you, see you. Please come back to our place, this is your place, forgive me. I like you. »

In fact, I was afraid to see him. Despite his infidelity, I missed him so much. I was used to him, seeing him every night, sleeping in his arms, he was everything to me. There I went to bed alone, woke up alone, tears came back to me.

We were both so good, why had he ruined everything? I fell asleep that night fully dressed. The next day was almost the same. The work, the calls I ignored, my loneliness, my sadness.

The day after I was a little more relaxed. At noon while I was eating with Nelson he asked me if I was fine. I could talk to him, trust him. I had always felt it.

Me: Not really no, I've been living at the hotel since Sunday. I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I caught him with a woman, I left.

He frowned and remained silent for a minute, as if thinking.

Nelson: Wow sweetie, I knew something was up but this! Ohlala us men but tell me is it a good idea to settle in the hotel, to leave the house? You know we are in Africa.

Me: Honestly, I don't care. My life my rules you see? I'm not a very conformist. But you know I think it was also my way of preserving what's left of this couple. I can be very wild and mean when I'm angry or hurt, so I preferred to leave. To be able to find myself alone and reflect. If I stayed there I think it would be over in the hospital.

Nelson: That's pretty well reasoned, I didn't know you were that mature.

I finally dared to admit it to myself, I couldn't imagine my life without him. I don't know why this discussion with Nelson opened my eyes. I blamed myself for thinking that.

I had always told myself that if my man cheated on me I would leave him. But then I was ashamed to admit to myself that what was going on between William and me was way too deep for me to just let it go.

What kind of strong woman am I if I let a man do this to me? I don't know, but I cared too much about him to imagine my life without him. I saw him kneeling in front of me again with tears in his eyes and I was even angry with myself for making him suffer like that.

Did he deserve this because of some stupidity after all the good he had done for me?

I hated to think about it because it made me weak and I never wanted to look weak.

Nelson: To change the subject, this is your third month right? How do you feel with the boss?

Me: Ha, I'm also waiting but I've never had any real complaints. He had to correct me a few times on how to set up a file but never anything too bad so I hope it will pass.

Nelson: Yes I think it will pass. And completely between us, I don't want to give you a big head but let's give Caesar what is Caesar's, you have more of a place here than some people. I wanted to tell you that you are really a great help to me here. In addition you are very quick-witted, I like that, do not lose it.

Me: Thank you, that's nice. You know how to put sugar in my heart you. Haha.

Friday came, the famous payday that marked the end of my three months of probation. I didn't care as long as it was one of the two. I had an appointment in Wesley's office at the end of the day.

Wesley: Hello Ashley, please come in.

He gave me a whole speech, a kind of assessment of my three months. He mentioned my pluses and minuses at work and made me understand that in general he was very satisfied with my work as he suspected by offering me this contract.

That I had known how to bring the necessary freshness to have another perception of the projects. He told me that unfortunately he hadn't had time to work with me on certain important projects on which he needed a fresh look, for lack of time, but that we were going to remedy that in the future.

Nelson: It's Friday tonight, I hope you're the one inviting! We have to celebrate that.

All my colleagues were happy for me except Michèle who didn't give a damn. They congratulated me and everyone wanted to drink to my health. How was I going to do? You have to water it and to tell the truth it suited me.

Where was I going? Stay alone in my hotel room? It was 10 p.m., we all (except the boss) went to a local snack bar where we chained our alcohols. We were already in joy, no one wanted to go home except Michèle who just made an act of presence for an hour and came back turning her buttocks there.

So we decided to extend to Night Club. When I wanted to pay, apparently the boys had already done so, so we headed for the nightclub, but I didn't expect to have so much fun.

The alcohol was doing its job well and I was totally uninhibited. I laughed, I danced, I was happy. We put on the cut off, I spoiled myself on stage. At one point while I was pulling out my last pickles laughing I saw Wesley talking with my co-workers at our table.

Oh, what was he looking for here??? He frowned when he saw me and I immediately stopped dancing. His gaze on me was burning me again, I don't know if it was the effects of the alcohol, but I apologized to Nelson and rushed to the bathroom.

I needed to pull myself together a bit, I didn't want to face him because I wasn't myself. I was drunk, did I have to get out of the bathroom and run from here? No, that was the worst idea on earth. It was a terrible lack of respect especially towards my colleagues whom I had invited here.

Maybe he was just passing through? Yes he was just passing through. He must have bumped into his employees by chance and stopped to say hello. So I would be surprised if he was still here waiting for me. I staggered out, drunk with my condition.

Eyes wide, I tried to watch from a distance if he was still there. I didn't see it, a great relief followed by a little disappointment took hold of me. So it was with a light heart that I left to join the others. The evening was just beginning for me, I raise my glass when suddenly I feel someone leaning towards me.

I froze in place, it was him. He whispered something in my ear that I didn't understand with all the noise and as I turned around to tell him that I didn't understand anything, my lips brushed his.

I thought I was dead! My heart was beating hard, I felt a gentle warmth going through my whole body. He looked me straight in the eyes and didn't know what to say. I turned my head towards my colleagues, no one had noticed anything. I turned to him, still leaning over me.

Me: Sorry, I didn't understand what you said.

Wesley: I said congratulations on your new contract, and I also said I'm the one inviting you tonight, I owe you that.

Me: Thank you, that's very nice.

Wesley: You're welcome, I'm sitting a little higher, I'll let you have your fun.

I wanted to tell him « No, don't go, stay with me » . But I couldn't, it was too strong for me. I wanted to kiss him, to beg him to take me home or to my house and take me all night, I had a crazy, uncontrollable urge. I turned to him again, trying to control my reactions.

Me: Ok thanks again.

He turned around and I looked after him. He went up the stairs and I saw that he was sitting a little higher, with 3 men and a woman. I needed a good slap I think to pull myself together. I kept drinking, over and over again, I was losing my footing little by little, but I loved it.

After two or three dances I glanced at my watch. 4am it was. A quick trip to the toilet, I was really burned. My laughter choked in my throat when I saw, who was waiting for me outside the bathroom door, Wesley.

When I reached him he looked at me without a word and held out his hand. I gave him my hand without any hesitation and he took me to a dark corner of the track and there he grabbed me by the waist and stuck to me.

I lay down on his shoulder and let myself be carried away. I felt his breath on my neck, his hands on my kidneys that he caressed slowly, I was almost asleep. We did not see the end of the music coming.

The DJ continued with even more sensual music, I think we had paid this DJ for me that night. The song touched my soul, I raised my head slowly, my gaze was in his. Abandoned, I was all his, I could feel his desire.

I saw him coming that kiss that I had so longed for, that I had dreamed of so much and before I had time to think about it his lips were against mine, it was like a firework . He gently forced the passage of my lips and I offered him my mouth.

I felt him breathing like he was going to die, and I was breathing the same. He devoured me, his saliva burned me, my eyes closed, I saw stars in the dark. He suddenly pulled away from me, we both gasped.

His forehead against mine he breathed as he looked into my eyes. And there, despite all my efforts, I couldn't help but tell him.

Me: Take me somewhere. Somewhere where it's just the two of us.

I couldn't take it anymore and nothing mattered at that precise moment. His forehead against mine he breathed as he looked me in the eye and there, despite my best efforts, I couldn't help but tell him to take me somewhere. Somewhere where just the two of us will be.

Wesley: Where do you want to go sweetie.

Me: wherever you want

Wesley: You have guests, you have to go take your leave.

I broke away from him without a word and went to my table like a robot. I took my bag and apologized to the others. I told them that I had to go home, that I was tired. At that moment I met the disapproving gaze of Nelson who apparently had seen everything. He approached me and whispered in my ear.

Nelson: Don't do anything you might regret tomorrow Ashley. You're drunk, you're disappointed in your boyfriend, you're not yourself. In your condition, it's too easy to make a mistake.

His words hit me like a cold shower. I wanted to say to him “And you? What's your problem ? But he was right, only my whole body was crying out for Wesley.

Nelson was right, I was too drunk to do anything with a married man besides my boss. That was enough to discourage me, I ran more than I walked towards the exit. When I got outside, I did my best not to stagger. I was in no condition to drive, I was really very very drunk.

— Ashley.

I turned around, it was Wesley. God, I wanted to get away before he found out. I kept walking, he joined me running.

Wesley: Ashley, what's going on? What are you doing ?

Me: I…I…I…Excuse me, I have to go home, I'm tired.

I was looking for my keys in my bag, my hands were shaking. When I found, the keys fell, the bag itself fell.

Wesley: Ashley my God you're completely drunk. Give me your keys, you're in no condition to drive.

Me: I can drive just fine, leave me alone.

Wesley: Get on the other side don't argue.

I didn't have the strength to argue, I got on the passenger side, pouting. He came in, locked the doors, strapped me in like a baby, and started the car. Hmmm he looked a little upset.

Wesley: So you were just going to leave? And run away without even saying goodbye to me?

Me: Yes, and why am I going to say goodbye to you?

I felt that my answer had hurt him.

Wesley: Why didn't you just tell me no? Did… Ashley did you feel pressured?

His voice was worried.

Me: No… no… But you're married and you have a mistress and more. I don't know what possessed me to let you touch me like that.

Wesley: A mistress but what are you talking about? Where do you get that from?

My head was spinning, I wanted to vomit,

Me: You're all the same, all bastards. Besides, get out of my car, I can drive.

His face closed.

Wesley: Look Ashley, I'm going to blame your words on alcohol. So tell me where you live. Can you show me your house? I just want to drop you off.

Me: I can drive

Wesley: Are you going to stop that? Look at your condition.

He was not joking, his voice had suddenly changed and he had become the imposing man, I wanted to get it over with.

Me: Hotel the HEAVEN.

I had whispered that, I knew it was going to have its little effect.

Wesley: What?? Do you live at the hotel?

I do.

Wesley: How? Why ?

Me: It's none of your business if you don't mind.

He was confused, he looked thoughtful.

Wesley: Did your mate kick you out?

Me: Kick me out? No. It was I who left that...and I said that's none of your business.

He paused, he kept looking at me.

Wesley: Now I understand why you were so weird this week.

Me: A little that you understand but you know who would understand even better? She's your wife. You men are all the same.

I had slammed that on him so viciously and I burst into tears without understanding. He looked at me, I cried again and again, I was so lost. He didn't know what to tell me, I saw him stop the car in front of the hotel. He went out and came to take me out, I was tired, I was nauseous.

Wesley: What's your room number?

Me: You can leave, I'm not going to go to the wrong room, huh.

Wesley: I'd rather make sure. Please Ashley, I'm not going to take advantage of you, you're too drunk to leave you like this.

I was afraid to see him in my room, it was me who risked abusing him. I handed him the pass to my room, I didn't want to argue. Arrived at my door.

Wesley: Come in and close your door, I'll take a taxi back to the box. I'm sorry for tonight, I meant no harm.

Thinking badly? If only he knew what he had done to me tonight and there he was apologizing, he was saying goodbye to me? He was going to leave and I was going to find myself alone in my big bed?

I heard a voice coming from I don't know where saying "Please stay" Heaven, it was my voice, I was as surprised as he was. He was a step from the door, I approached him, under his troubled gaze, I pulled on his shirt.

Wesley: Ashley you're too drunk, pull yourself together.

Me: I don't need to pull myself together. I don't even want to pull myself together.

Before he had time to speak I was glued to him and I was hanging from his neck with both feet suspended.

Wesley: Damn Ashley if you do that I can't resist you….

Me: Don't resist Wesley. Please take me tonight make me what you want....

As soon as I finished my sentence, he began to devour my lips again, to eat my mouth, my tongue. He closed the door behind him. He held me by the hips tightly as if he was afraid of losing me.

I wanted him so much, I couldn't take it anymore, I started to pull on his belt. I was ready, I wanted to feel it on me, in me. My legs were shaking, my hands were clumsy. I wanted it so badly.

Me: I want you so much Wesley. I whispered between two kisses.

Wesley: Oh darling me too, I want you so much. You have haunted me for so long. I didn't know this day would come.

Me: This day has arrived and I am entirely yours.

He began to unbutton my shirt, neither one nor two she found herself on the floor. When his hand touched my bare skin, there was a small surge of lucidity.

Me: I can't...I can't...I drank too much.

He wasn't listening to me anymore, he continued to undress me. He took my hand and put it down on his member so I could see how hard it was. I bit my lip, I felt such a sensual shock, I was already wet, I felt it between my thighs. I helped him take off his pants.

Wesley: Do you feel what you're doing to me?

Me: Ouiiiiiii, and you you make me wet. Undress me, you can feel it.

He paused for two seconds and looked me in the eye. Looks like he had regained some control.

Wesley: Ashley I think that's a bad idea.

Me: Noooo. No Wesley. Please don't think. I'm all yours, take me, do what you want. I want to feel you inside me.

He hugged me tight, I was in pain but I wanted him so badly.

Wesley: Ashley, you're drunk and I drank too much too, we're in no condition to make that kind of decision. I could hurt you or hurt myself once I'm lucid.

Me: It's not a Wesley decision, it's an urge, a mad urge. Hurt me if you want but don't leave me like this.

He pushed me away gently but firmly.

Wesley: Please sleep, tomorrow you'll prove me right.

I was hurt, I was frustrated, I was fallow, I wanted him.

Me: Don't you want me?

Wesley: Please don't say that. How can you ask me that? Of course I want you, but not like that. Go to sleep now please.

He gave me a kiss on the forehead avoiding my lips that I offered him and avoiding me when I wanted to stick to him again. He went out and left me there, speechless, in turmoil, wet, troubled, excited, frustrated to the highest degree.

I collapsed on the floor, burst into tears and in my sob I called him "Wesley please come back, don't leave me in this state, I want you, I can't last all night without you . I want to feel you inside me, come back and make love to me”

In tears and calling her name, I crawled somehow on the floor towards the bed and without even realizing it I fell into a deep sleep there on the floor at the foot of the bed. My God why did he do this to me?

To be continued......