I have long wanted to see the apartment where Alex lives. In his father's house, he stayed only on weekends, because Vasily Andreevich really wanted this. The stepfather likes to gather in a close family circle and discuss some minor trifles, exchange impressions and just have a good time. Therefore, Alex humbly came to us on Saturday and Sunday.

And since then I have fallen in love with the weekend. I looked forward to them, lived and breathed these two days. Until Alex left without even saying goodbye to me.

- Is this your place? I ask, kicking my uncomfortable shoes to the floor.

- Yes. I don't rent an apartment, if that's what you mean.

“Aren’t you afraid that I will remember the address and will haunt you until the end of your days?”

My tone is playful, carefree, I slap Alex on the shoulder and, turning around on my axis, I say:

“But don’t worry, I have a bad memory, so I won’t remember anything.

- Nothing at all? he chuckles incredulously.

“I’m sure I won’t forget your dislike for touch,” I snort, remembering how stubbornly Alex removed my hand, but in the end gave in and allowed me to ruffle his hair.

Do you always say what you think?

My liberties are not to his liking. Here, again, he frowns and looks at me under the bright room lighting. The paranoia builds up again, taking over his lungs, preventing him from breathing deeply. I turn away, adjusting my dress with a careless movement. The strap is barely holding on, it's about to slip off.

“Will you treat the girl to something strong?” - I say nonchalantly, even cheerfully. It's nervous. When I get too excited, I can laugh.

"Peated whiskey will suit you?" He arches an eyebrow skeptically.

- Yes.

- It's clear. The bathroom is over there.” He points to a door at the end of the hallway.

The body stiffens in one second. Is this a hint that I need to wash before sex? Right here right now? But how to talk, get to know each other at least a little?

Or did I misunderstand what he said?

Oh, I don't know anything about one-night stands. And I have no idea how it goes for others.

Alex goes to the kitchen. I follow him with my eyes, and then slowly make my way to the bathroom. Inhale and exhale. Like this. Everything will be fine. It doesn't matter if my first time happens without love from Alex. The main thing is that I have feelings for him.

I open the faucet and watch the water flow. Shaking off my numbness, I press my cold palms to my cheeks and look in the mirror. My eyes are a little baked, I have not worn colored lenses before, so discomfort is new to me. Like sand was poured. And I didn’t take moisturizing drops with me.

I look doubtfully at the shower. No, I will not bathe like a cheap prostitute before having sex with a client! It's kind of down-to-earth and annoying.

"You're quick," Alex remarks.

“That was enough for me to freshen up,” I bat my eyelashes innocently. I see a glass with red liquid on the table and I specify: - Did you pour the wine?

- Yes.

“Why not peat whisky?”

“I don’t fuck girls who are insane. After whiskey, you will quickly be carried away.

It is difficult to get used to his rude frankness. But I smile like a fool and wrap my arms around the stem of my glass. I make a circular motion with my hand to shake the wine and reveal its aroma. Finally, I take my first sip. Saturated sour-tart taste shoots at the receptors, hops immediately penetrate the body, spread through the veins and arteries.

I am one big, bare nerve, and alcohol has a devastating effect on me.

Head floats, lips stretch in a smile. And why am I so panicking? Alex is next to me, not some left-wing man. Everything will be great. He knows how to please a girl. This night will be the best of my life.

- Good wine. Will you try? I offer him my glass.

He shakes his head. Refuses my offer. Stubborn. Dislikes empty talk.

I put the glass on the table. It seems the games are over.

Alex puts his hands on my waist and pulls me towards him. Powerfully, uncompromisingly. He is in charge, and I can only obey.

— You appreciate wine, don't you? I'm interested. “It’s just that it’s very expensive, it’s unlikely that you accidentally bought it in a supermarket. And in stores there is a small selection of decent wine. It is better to go to specialized points, where the sommelier will explain everything and give sensible advice. I recently found a pearl in general: Italian sparkling wine with a divine taste. The whole batch is that the vineyards grow on some kind of fertile and very expensive land, and this champagne is rarely imported to us. I'm lucky.

I catch my breath, gasping for air, so that I can continue to rush into lengthy thoughts about alcohol. I also called that sparkling wine champagne. An unforgivable mistake!

“Actually, it was prosecco. I even have a photo of the bottle in the gallery. I always shoot delicious food and drinks. Show? My bag is in the hallway...

- Will you ever shut up? Alex interrupts me.

I wince. Everything is not going according to plan. Although I did not plan anything, let's be honest. And now every minute I destroy my chances of continuing in the horizontal plane.

- Are you irritated by sociable girls? I touch the collar of his shirt, feeling the soft fabric. I bump into a button and unbutton it intuitively.

Alex is so hot, I'm afraid of getting burned.

- At the moment - very angry.

I touch his skin just below the throat. I suck in the air noisily, because sparks seem to dance on my fingertips. Touching Alex is exciting and pleasant.

“When I’m nervous, I always talk a lot,” I confess.

- Why are you nervous?

Due to the fact that I haven’t slept with anyone yet, I want to answer. But then Alex will push me away. Probably. It's better not to risk it.

“It’s you who has such an effect on me,” my voice is hoarse and very quiet. I'm almost whispering.

Alex suddenly smiles and runs his hands down my back.

The distance between our faces is reduced to a few millimeters. My body pierces with electricity, I stop breathing and look into his darkened eyes. They have concentrated lust. And nothing more.

No love, no sympathy, no interest.

In the next second, his lips cover mine in a hard, hungry kiss.

I delayed this moment as much as I could, but Alex just took it - and subjugated me.

He is persistent, greedy, runs his tongue along the lower lip, clasps it, sucks it. It bites lightly and then lets go, letting it take one last ragged breath before finally falling.

I timidly answer the kiss. Alex immediately unceremoniously penetrates my mouth with his tongue. It torments, absorbs. I am all saturated with its smell, I feel its taste and get drunk without alcohol. Five years of waiting was worth it. From new sensations, the roof is blown away, the knees become weak, and the lower abdomen is filled with heaviness.

Alex finds my hand and puts it on his cock.

It’s like I’m jumping into icy water with a run. A frost runs along the spine, and pleasant sensations disappear in an instant.

I instinctively withdraw my hand.

Alex pulls back, stares intently, a sort of smile on his lips. He pulls down on the zipper pull on his pants while keeping his eyes on me. The air is thickening, my ears are ringing, because I understand everything. Not stupid, she read the necessary books and watched films.

“Get down on your knees,” Alex orders.

I look down and bite my lip until it hurts.

This is not how I envisioned my first time.

3.2

I'm not against oral sex, but for a start I would like to do the usual. Find out what it is all about, taste it, feel loved and desired. Instead of falling to your knees and sucking off a man with whom, according to legend, I have only known an hour. Alex doesn't remember me. For him, I am an accessible, frivolous stranger obsessed with red wine.

“Now, wait a minute,” I mutter, and immediately turn away.

I wrap my arms around the stem of my glass and take a few long sips of the tart drink. Hundreds of questions flash through my head and not a single intelligible answer. Can I give him a blowjob? Will I succeed? Will Alex suspect that I don't understand anything at all?

“You’re too nervous and tight for someone who wants revenge on her ex,” Alex says coldly.

I put the empty glass down on the table, feeling the alcohol flowing in, giving me peace and confidence. The chest is tight and hot, the lips dry up.

“You thought it was,” I say softly.

I hug Alex and kiss him on the neck. I slowly move my tongue down, enjoying his masculine special taste. I unbutton a few more buttons on my shirt, continue to study Alex with my lips, inhale the aroma of his body and, closing my eyes, get high from the process itself.

He can't push me. I want to take matters into my own hands. Get Alex to the point where he forgets about the blowjob. And in the morning I will be gone. I'll leave right after the main action.

“Christina,” he says warningly. Am I doing something wrong again? Or is he annoyed by foreplay?

And how I want to say that I am not Christina. This is someone else's name, wrong, uncomfortable. I am Mika, your half-sister, whom you never paid any attention to.

“I love kissing you,” I whisper.

My fingers are getting naughty, but I manage the last button. I admire Alex's beautiful body: muscular chest, sculpted six-pack abs. And tattoos.

- Do they mean anything? I ask, running my fingers around the first star. There are five in total. They are embossed on the ribs. It must be very painful to get a tattoo, especially in such a sensitive place.

“No,” Alex shakes his head. He is uncomfortable.

I pull off his shirt, squat a little, wanting to tease him. I touch the skin next to the navel with my tongue, I look into his dark eyes. They blaze like hellfire. If not for wine and my unrequited love, I would never have behaved so uninhibitedly. I touch my lips to every tattoo on his body, I rise higher, to a tense, rapidly heaving chest.

Alex doesn't stop me. No pressure on the shoulders, forcing to fall to his knees, no more stuttering about the blowjob. It turns out that a man is easy to manage. Even to those who previously seemed impregnable cold rock.

Swallowing the tight lump in my throat, I reach down and touch the steel belt buckle. Alex hasn't unbuttoned his trousers all the way, so I'm finishing what I started. I feel its hardness through the fabric of black boxers. Saliva accumulates in my mouth, I clear my throat and offer in a hoarse voice:

“Maybe we should move to the bedroom?”

- Not.

And before I can ask another question, Alex grabs me and sits me on the table. She lifts her dress up to her hips, pulls her panties down. I don’t even have time to scream before my underwear flies to the floor. Now I only have a dress on - and nothing more.

Alex stands between my spread legs, runs his thumb over my lips, and then presses.

“Open your mouth,” he commands.

I obey. I look into his eyes without blinking. I grab my finger with my lips, moisten it with my tongue. I squint. The lower abdomen shoots with current. I shift on the table, trying to get comfortable, and wrap my legs around Alex's hips. His cock presses into me. Even through the fabric of the dress and boxers, I can feel how excited, hot, hard he is.

A shiver runs through my body. Breathing fails. I follow my desires and suck on Alex's finger. At the same time, I look into his eyes, I want to catch and remember every emotion. There won't be another opportunity like this. Today, for the first and last time, he shows me some kind of feelings.

“Your fucking lips,” Alex mutters and kisses me.

Immediately deep and assertive. We collide with tongues, I mumble something indistinctly. And I move my hips involuntarily.

Alex curses, pushes his hand under my dress. And touches me there . His fingers are drenched in my lube, and I'm so ashamed that words can't describe it. The face is on fire, the thoughts are confused. I try to bring my legs together, but Alex just grins wryly and shakes his head.

In retaliation, I bite his bottom lip. And then I run my tongue over it to remove the discomfort.

“You’re so fucking wet,” he says with admiration, or something.

Makes circular movements around the clitoris, caresses the labia. And at the same time, he stuffs his tongue into my mouth, kisses me like an insatiable beast.

It moves back a little, then I hear the rustle of foil. I open my eyes, I see a gray square clutched in his hand.

- Will you wear it yourself? he raises his eyebrows, misreading my confusion.

- What about the bedroom? I try.

- Forget. I can not wait any longer.

With a trembling, weakened hand, I remove a strand of hair stuck to my forehead, I exhale the air through clenched teeth. Alex opens the box with an impatient movement.

Losing your innocence on a hard table is too much. I won't be able to relax. But there is no way out.

Or is there?

“I would still prefer a soft comfortable bed, not this table,” I say confusedly and blink often, often. Eyes watery. All because of those stupid lenses.

"The hell did she give up on you?" Alex doesn't understand.

“It is better to lose innocence in a comfortable position, and not on this table!” I wave my hand nervously.

Alex freezes. He probes my face for a long, unblinking look, as if he doesn't believe I'm telling the truth. Frowns. Blinks in surprise. Then he abruptly throws the open square onto the table. Pulls on trousers. Fastens the belt. And all this in a ringing silence. I think I can even hear the elevator opening somewhere on the floor.

Tears roll down my throat. Not the reaction I was expecting, not at all.

In an instant, Alex turned from a passionate lover into an imperturbable cold man.

“Wh-what are you doing?” - flies out of my numb lips.

- I don’t know what you didn’t share with your ex, but you don’t need to drag me into your showdown.

"But you didn't care five minutes ago!"

Until I found out you were a virgin. I don't fuck with virgins. Too much hassle and unnecessary responsibility for me. Thank you for at least telling me,” he spits out with caustic sarcasm.

So my desires are not taken into account? The main thing is that you don't have trouble? I raise my voice.

I jump off the table, find panties and with ragged movements, turning away, pull them on. My eyes are burning, I'm hurt and offended.

Yes, you understood correctly. Good girl.

Alex chuckles. Aloof, distant, he even scares me now.

- Go to hell! - I push him in the shoulder and run into the corridor.

Evil tears run down your cheeks. I have never felt so humiliated. Even five years ago. My left eye itches, I rub it with my fingers and accidentally remove the blue lens.

Great, there will be a parting gift for Alex. He's still in the kitchen and won't follow me. Judging by the sounds coming from there, he generally pours himself peat whiskey. Or your fine wine.

I go into the bathroom and leave the blue lenses on the sink. Next to the toothbrush and toothpaste. Here he will notice them in any way.

And with a triumphant smile, I slam the door behind me. Alex never followed me, didn't even say goodbye. Not in his style. It seemed to me that he had changed. But no, my stepbrother is still a cold and cruel man with idiotic principles.

I imagine how his face will stretch when he realizes that Christina did not have blue eyes at all. But Alex was so obviously enthusiastic about them. I giggle into my palm, call a taxi. And only there, in the warm interior of the car, I realize what happened.

I missed my only chance.