Monday rolled around and I had to get out of bed at last. I’d spent the weekend watching movies and avoiding people and the Internet. It was too ‘peopley’. Late on Sunday evening, I took a shower and let my long hair dry on its own as I binge-watched some crime show on Netflix. It kept my brain occupied which is what I needed today even if I wasn’t in the mood to lounge around today.

My breath appeared in white puffs as I walked to class, my head down and my hoodie over my head. I avoided eye contact, casual hellos, and brief nods with anyone throughout the day, and managed to get to work at the library with exactly zero interaction with anyone. I didn’t hate the world. I hated myself for being so stupid.

I know that by now, I should be able to deal with the world and the fuckery that comes along with life. I should be able to stand with my head up and glare fuck-yous at everyone, but I couldn’t.

I’d been stood up twice. In a row. I must be some kind of monster.

I had to be, right? Why else would that happen? Sure, Amanda was probably behind it all, somehow – maybe -- but what if I’d just become paranoid over the years? What if she didn’t have anything to do with my abandoned dates and I just… sucked?

I couldn’t help but think about it all as the hours passed and I watched the students come and go. Final exams were coming up and the temperature was warming up. The library would soon heat up as students filled the building, eager to finish studying and their final projects.

I’d already finished my final projects, easy to do when you have no life, and my finals were in the bag. I knew the subject matter of my finals and would save studying for the night before each test. I only had two classes this semester, so it wouldn’t be too hard.

Other students, however, were inundated with work. They were studying and trying not to fail. I watched them come in, stress showing plainly on their faces. The knowledge each book brought them doing little to smooth out the worry lines. I’d never been one to panic too much over tests but could see that other students were.

I wondered as I removed my hoodie and pulled my t-shirt down to cover my flat stomach if that kind of stress had caused Kenny to back out of our date. I was still too warm but I knew the air conditioner wouldn’t come on in the building until next week.

Maybe he’d decided to study instead of going out to have fun. But what about Gerard? Surely both dates wouldn’t have made that same decision. It must have been me they didn’t want to go out with.

I skulked around the building, hiding from students that might ask me for help, all while I put books back on the shelves and did the few tasks I could do.

The day sped by up until I got to work. That’s when I was certain the clock high up on the wall near the checkout desk stopped ticking. I stared at the second-hand willing it to move, but I could have sworn it just sat there, stuck.

I checked out a student who had brought six thick books up to the desk. They must have a history final I assumed as I noted the titles. A familiar voice caught my attention as I took the student’s ID to scan it, and I felt a chill run down my back. A quick glance up showed me that my nightmare wasn’t over.

Amanda had just pulled a guy down along a row of shelves, her eyes on him, lust written all over her face.

For a moment, I saw red. I wanted to go down there and bang her head into the wall, but I wasn’t the violent type. The sound of a throat clearing reminded me that I was in the middle of checking a student’s books out for them.

“Sorry, here you go.” I pushed the stack of books over with an apology and the printout that was produced every time a transaction was completed. The student didn’t say anything as they put the books in a canvas bag and left.

I could only sigh as a loud giggle came from the shelves where Amanda hid with her latest conquest. You’d think by now, the guys would know that she was just playing a game. Maybe they didn’t care, I mused.

Men were only after one thing, wasn’t that what women always said? My mom thought so and often moaned about the dating scene for older women. She wanted a relationship, someone to build a future with, but all she seemed to find were men that wanted a good time and nothing more.

I watched the student walk out of the building and realized that I wasn’t much different. I wanted to start my life before I got into a serious relationship. I planned to work for a couple of years, save money, buy a house, and travel a bit before I settled down. Until then, I planned to play the field, have my own fun, and discover life.

Not so different at all from my male peers, I guess. I wandered away from the shelves that Amanda was currently desecrating and dusted the books on the other side of the library with a duster. This was not fun at all, but I only had a few weeks left.

After that, I’d be free of Amanda and this job. She was going out to California I’d learned last semester, eager to work her way up to a coveted position as a newscaster for a morning show or something like that out there. I didn’t really care when she told me about her plans, but she thought everyone would want to know what she would be doing with her life.

The library emptied out quickly enough as Mrs. Lawson came out of her office to lend a hand. I let her run the desk and hid in the stacks. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, not even the kind librarian, today. I just wanted to get through the next couple of weeks as quietly as possible.

I’d make an exception for Brooklyn, I decided when I felt my phone buzz in the back pocket of my jeans. I took the phone out and looked at the message. Brooklyn wanted to know if I’d be alright on my own tonight.

I texted back and told her that I’d be fine and thanked her for the support she’d given me without complaint over the weekend. Normally, Brooklyn spent every night over at Stuart’s, but this weekend, they’d both decided that Brooklyn should give me all of her attention.

I did appreciate it, but now that I’d crawled somewhat out of my funk, I wanted to be alone.

A shiver ran down my spine as a draft from the door reached me. Another student had left the building. I walked quickly over to the checkout desk and pulled my hoodie back on. Luckily, the nights would start warming up after tonight, and it would be a lot warmer during the days.

“I see you’re still looking like someone kicked your favorite puppy, Nikki. Oops, I mean Nicolette,” Amanda snarked as she came up behind me.

“So kind of you to notice me, Amanda,” I purred out with sarcasm that oozed from my throat. “I hope you have an itchy crotch night, tonight, sweetie. It’s time for the library to close now, so please leave.”

“Oh, sarcasm. So angry and hurt, Nicolette!” Her eyes went wide as she pretended to be insulted. I knew I was in trouble when she grinned with ecstatic glee. “I guess it’s hard to be nice when two men stand you up though, huh?”

Her attempt to sound concerned was ruined by the glee in her eyes.

She’d just confirmed what I’d suspected all along. She’d had something to do with my dates standing me up. I felt the tremor in my muscles as anger crashed through my veins. I stared at her, speechless, as she snickered in my face and turned to the boy she’d come in with, an even bigger grin on her face.

“Nicolette here, poor little Nikki that can’t get a guy to sleep with her to save her life, almost had dates this weekend. Almost.” She stressed the last word as she shifted her gaze between the guy and me. To his credit, the guy just looked confused, and a little bit disgusted as Amanda revealed more and more about what she’d done. “Poor little Kenny, he was so eager to go out with Nicolette that he came to me to ask for advice. He’s been my friend for ages, you know?”

She said that as if we’d both be impressed about her friendship with some random guy. I wanted to claw her eyes out.

“Well, Kenny needed advice, and I had the perfect advice for him. Don’t sleep with Nic, I mean Nicolette, she has herpes!” She laughed so hard, and all I could do was stare at her, completely lost for words. So much gall, so much hatred. How could she carry around that much hatred and not rot, I had to wonder. “I mean, it was a joke, but he believed me! His face when he turned around and left! You should have seen it; it was so hilarious!”

She bent over from the force of her laughter. The guy she’d come in with made a repulsed sound and walked out of the library. I didn’t care, I had an answer and it was worse than I’d thought.

“Oh, and then there was this guy.” She took her phone out of her jacket pocket and flicked her fingers over it until she found what she wanted. “He was so ready to fuck that night, and fortunately, he found me on the steps of your apartment. I’d heard him ask you out when we were all at the café and decided I should give him a real ride, not some inexperienced fumbling like you’d give him.”

I looked at her phone and saw a picture of Gerard, asleep in a bed, obviously Amanda’s bed because she was there with a manic grin on her face.

“You’re insane,” I whispered as she laughed again. Her laughing must have caught Mrs. Lawson’s attention because the older woman came out to stare at Amanda silently.

“I might, honey, but you’re unfuckable. And that, my dear, is so much worse.” She glanced over at Mrs. Lawson, put her phone away, and turned to leave. “You won’t have a chance, not while I’m around, Nikki.”

She didn’t bother to correct herself this time. I stared after her, completely dumbstruck. I could hear my blood as it pulsed in my veins, and for a moment, I wondered if I’d pass out. Dizziness swept through me as my vision narrowed to a pinpoint. Amanda walked towards the door of the library, her pleased swagger a clue to how she felt.

“You know, Amanda. I might not be able to get a date, but at least I’m not in danger of contracting a serious STD. You keep it up and you’ll not only be alone, but you’ll also be ill. There won’t be anyone to love you as you die.”

She came to a sudden halt, her hand on the door, and I thought she’d turn around to confront me all over again, but she didn’t. She kept walking toward the door.

I decided to leave it at that. I’d least I’d been able to get the parting shot in. I didn’t say anything else as Mrs. Lawson left the desk, and I didn’t call out to Amanda when something fell out of her jacket pocket and onto the floor with a soft thunk. I just let her go, a smirk on my own face. I’d got to her, at least.

I walked up to the place where the item fell and saw that it was her phone. I looked down at it, then up at her retreating back on the other side of the glass doors. With a wicked smile, I pushed the phone into the back pocket of my jeans. I’d return it later.

Maybe.

I went back to putting books away, more relaxed now, as I walked through the quiet aisles. It bothered me that I was still a virgin, I must admit. I didn’t have a religious upbringing; Mom was too busy with working to feed us to worry about my eternal soul. My father passed away when I was three, from a heart attack. He’d only been 28, but fate snatched him away from us. My grandparents all lived in California, where my parents were from, and rarely came to North Carolina to see us. They weren’t really a part of my life.

Mom had done the best she could with Dad’s life insurance and her work. That meant I’d been on my own a lot of the time, alone with my dated laptop and the neighbor’s Wi-Fi signal. I’d grown up in the age of technology and sex was everywhere. I wanted it too, but I just couldn’t seem to get it.

That had been Amanda’s fee for my help. She was supposed to help me find a guy to hook up with. She’d passed her class, and now it was time to pay. Instead, she’d put her blog back up and went back to her snide ways. I’d put a lot of time into helping her with that class and what did I get for it? Snarky comments about watching her have sex and a reminder that she’d posted a new blog about me.

“Nikki Can’t Get Fucked, Not Even with My Help!”

That had been the title of the blog post. I’d seen it when she published it. I’d often wanted to comment, to tell her what a bitch she was, to tell people who she really was under the makeup and the bleached hair. I’d held my tongue, well, fingers, instead. I knew the day would come when payback would fall into my lap. I didn’t know how that would happen, but it would.

I moved to put a book back on the shelf and felt the weight of her phone in my back pocket. I’d seen her put the code in more than once and knew it. I looked around, even though I knew the place was empty and pulled the phone out to look at the screen. It was a new phone, but maybe she’d left the code the same? I punched in the numbers and smiled when the screen changed.

I had it open.

I scrolled through her messages, her WhatsApp, and a few other apps before I put the phone away. I’d seen she had far more than Gerard’s picture on the phone and rolled my eyes. Was the woman suffering from some kind of mental illness or was she just that lonely? How could she go through so many men like that? Not that I was judging her or a prude, but even I knew she sometimes slept with five to six different men a day.

I kept finding myself looking at the bag. What did I do? Give her the phone back and tell her she’d dropped it, or use the gift that had been given to me?

Fate had finally decided to drop a tool for revenge into my lap. Or the floor as it happened. I now had countless ways to make Amanda pay. I wouldn’t do anything illegal, like text the hundreds of naked pictures she’d taken of herself out to all of her contacts, or the world, but there were other things I could do. Things I could hold over her head.

Even if she had the phone’s service turned off, I still had proof of so many things that she had done. I had proof of the professors she’d slept with, of the fact that she’d taken pictures of me and doctored them to use on her website. I had it all now, and I could finally take her down. If I wanted to.

Was this petty? Was wanting revenge on someone that had terrorized you for four years really wrong? Sure, I could show proof of what she’d done, but what would it get me in the end? Would I feel better?

I had to think fast though if I wanted to use her chat history and the services she used to get my revenge. She’d notice the phone was gone quickly and would likely have the service turned off before too long. I finished up my duties for the day quickly and clocked out for the night. I had to figure out what to do, so I headed straight back to my dorm where I’d have time to think. I’d have time to come up with a plan on my own, without anyone there to change my mind or urge me to do something really bad.

I loved Brooklyn entirely, but I knew she had no filter when it came to Amanda, and she’d want to do something very publicly humiliating to the nasty woman. I didn’t want to get anyone in trouble, except Amanda maybe, so whatever I did, I had to do it carefully.

I threw my bag down as I walked into the dorm and flopped down on my bed. I’d seen something very interesting on that phone, something that little Miss Fucks-a-Lot wouldn’t want anyone to know. If she wanted to play Mean Girls, I could play along. It’d taken me four long years, but I finally had a way to take Amanda down a notch or two. I’d tried to be nice. I’d tried to ignore her bullying and be the adult, but she wouldn’t let it go. And then, she’d delivered her own downfall right into my hands. This was going to be fun.

I hadn’t quite decided what I would do yet, but I knew I had a chance to do something now. I can’t help it. Amanda made this bed, and now she had earned whatever lumps she found while lying on it.