I thought he didn’t couldn’t get to me anymore.

Tiffany

Two hours later, I had downloaded all of Noah’s song and I was listening to them while getting drunk, he bared himself out for the public to see. That was why he was loved. It was years ago but I could feel the words as he sang them, I could hear the emotions. I watched one of his stage performance for the only soft song on his first album released and when he got to the chorus for the last time and everything changed and became more emotional. He had tears in his eyes as he sang from the heart and that was when my tears started.

I did that to him. He was singing of our past, he was singing about us and how I wrecked him. I was aware of the fact that I did ruin what we had but that stage performance made me realized how far the hurt went.

“Tiffany, you should stop tormenting yourself with this.” Josh said unable to keep quiet anymore. Yes you might have fucked up then but you are human, humans make mistakes all the time.”

“Don’t you have a PR nightmare to clean up? I showed emotions in public and not the warm fuzzy types and it was for something which is going to be up huge talk, why don’t you just leave me alone and deal with that.” I snapped at him. He refused to leave my side even after dropping me home, he had already taken off his shoes and jacket, he looks like he was ready to spend the night and I know that me breaking was not giving him incentives to leave but I needed to do this. I let him stay as long as he was not in my way and before his words, I had blissfully forgotten that someone else was in the room.

“I am not your Publicist. What I am is your manager, I am responsible for your state of care, whether you need emergency red carpet shoes or a change of scenery or a break or someone to take your anger out on or you need a friend, I am that person and currently, what you need is a friend.” Josh stated as I started crying in earnest.

He was right, he is a friend. He is the only one I had and that just made me realized how sad my life is. Being an ice queen meant shutting people out. I am not sure I want to continue that way.

“I broke him Josh.”

“You were young and you broke yourself too. Do I need to remind you that he just got out of another serious relationship? He sang a song about this girl for god sakes, stop beating yourself up about Noah.” Josh returned.

“The song is not for her.” I sniffed.

“Pardon?’ He asked me as he shifted closer to me.

“Remembering Memories is our song, before we came to California, we always talked about how we would go about creating memories and all. That song was filled with Memories from when we were still together. Candlelit dinners for two but only one chair was occupied. That’s our thing.” I explained as Josh shook his head.

“He still cares for you.” he deduced as I shook my head.

“No, this hurt reminded him of the other great betrayal in his life. I was that betrayal so the song was about remembering memories, just not with the girl whom everybody is thinking it is with.”

“Since there is a current song. Do you think that you can ever come back together with him?”

“No, I burnt all bridges when we separated. It can’t happen.” I shook my head.

“Okay, how about you let go of the wineglass and rest. We would need to go to the company tomorrow, we have to plan everything over from the start.”

“Why?” I asked, normally I would be able to catch up with the conversation but one too many glasses left my brain scrambling to pick up. The reason why I could even maintain half a sober state was because talking about Noah had sobered me up just a little.

“Because Noah is going to be on the show with you. You are going to see him every day, starting on Friday for the next two weeks. You need to know what angle to approach this from.” Josh replied as I sighed and dragged myself off to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a day I will not like.

****

“Tiffany, want to tell us what that was yesterday.” Amy barked at me. If Hollywood was a sea full of danger, she was a killer shark with a small army under her.

“Geez, I was being a human. You know. Just like you I am not made of stone.” I replied her as I sat down opposite her and placed my eye glass on my head.

“Don’t be sarcastic right now. I do not have the patience to deal with you having a sense of humor. Of course you are human but do you have to show your emotions there. There will be huge ramifications that we will need to make to keep your image intact…”

“No need for that.” I said with a forced happy tone.

“What?” she asked, hers were cold and calculating but unlike mine, they were not forced. That was how Amy Wayne of Wayne entertainment sounded, ever since she took over her father’s place at the helm of affairs without a man by her side.

“Did you not hear? Not only Lucy is going to be part of the show but Noah will be too. Now I can probably stand her but you cannot put me and Noah in the same place and not expect me to show emotions. It’s not possible.”

“True.” Josh chimes in from his post by the door. “She was brawling her eyes out yesterday while reminiscing on their past. She cannot be expected to keep up with the Ice Queen image when it concerns that superstar.”

“I swear, I will kill that Producer.” Amy exploded. “I will be having words with him, they cannot keep switching things up after making us sign a contract.”

“The contract is not the horrible thing right now. I cannot hide and say that I will not go for the reality show, not after yesterday Performance and not after everybody is anticipating me and Noah being in the same place for two weeks. We cannot avoid each other and the good citizens of California would be glued to their screen to catch every minute of the show for when we will see. It will boost my popularity yes but if I don’t do the show I become a pariah and laughing stock.”

“What the hell am I supposed to do now?” Amy sighed putting her head in her arms as she settled back into her chair while I was talking.

“I don’t know but Ice Queen is not going to swing anymore.”

“Okay then. Who do you want to be for the show and henceforth?” Amy asked, with she gestured at me like she was tired of it all.

“Tiffany. It’s about time I be myself.” I replied.

Amy looked at me and when she saw my determined expression that I was not willing to try and be anything else, she sighed. “God help us all.”