First she took care of our children. The firstborn of Sereluna died first - a puppy who did not have time to open his eyes. Her roar is in my ears - a desperate cry that swept through the forest to the very Living Strip. Then there was the old Narda, who became my second mother.

Death approached, and every night there were less and less of us.

The cold was coming, getting stronger and stronger. Each time the summer became shorter and the winter more powerful. Until the one that has no end came.

Swallowed by winter, swept and painted Icebang completely white. Only centuries-old coniferous trees flash by, and the snow is silver underfoot. Spruce branches do not protect from the merciless wind, do not hide from snow settling on wool. And it’s far from the ground under your feet - it is covered with a thick layer of permafrost.

There is no place for swift-footed horses in the icy Icebeng desert. Instead of a frantic jump - bogged down in the snow, instead of a stirrup - wooden snowshoes. Tarrum's people go for such easily, but I keep failing, falling, clinging to the roots.

After the skirmish with Tosh, the mood in the camp only fell. Someone would take me by the scruff of the neck and throw me out to the red-eyed ones, but no one dares. They look, they look, they cringe, but they cannot dare under the gaze of the dark eyes of the Nort.

But they are following me. Watch every breath and step. Although on two legs and in the snow I can’t go far ...

With each fall, I get more and more angry. It makes me want to break my snowshoes. I try to twist the ring on my hand, but it seems to have grown, stuck, and I can’t remove it in any way.

But Tosh saw an axe. Take this one ... time! And here it is freedom, dear ...

And I'm waiting. I'm waiting to be distracted and turn away. But I won't see the Living Strip of Freedom.

Every now and then I catch a thoughtful look Larre. North looks, and his gaze seems to paralyze, and I cannot escape from his cold eyes anywhere.

From a hard road in the evening, I feel so tired that I fall asleep, falling into the snow. Hunting and that does not exhaust so much. And I’m not used to staying awake during the day while the sun is shining - it’s time for a person, while the wolf is a creature of the night.

I wake up lying on spruce paws. There is a fire nearby, and even the smell of burning is glad. It is hard for me without a warm skin, and the fire turns into a true friend. Someone transferred me, I think, Ilyas - another would disdain.

He sits down next to me.

Do you want to eat, Leah? - He asks a question, - On, hold on. - holds out a piece of dried meat, - Our porridge was made ... I didn’t wake up. In truth, it's still an abomination. I don’t know why Aina surrendered in the detachment - she is still a master of cooking. But they ate it all clean.

I myself think: “Yes, even if it were not for hunger ... The people of Tarrum would choke, but they would eat everything. So as not to share the crumb with me. ” Only to Ilyas did I give up for some reason... I would know why.

But dried venison - I'm glad more rancid porridge. Wolf meat - only relish. While I eat, Ilyas admires the dance of fire.

– You know, Leah… Don't piss off the Nort. His hand is heavy, and he is quick to punish. You, the animals, have other laws, but we ... not so simple. It is in Aysbeng that you can get away with something, but this will not happen in Kobrin.

Then Ilyas leaves and returns with a new log. For a minute the fire fades, and then starts dancing again.

- It will be a hard day tomorrow. I would go to bed. Do you want me to tell you a story?

And told. About crimson dunes and dunes, about the scorching sun, which is so hot. About cold nights, about the sky with many stars... About the white desert, where red wolves live, and people are rare and swarthy...

And I slept as sweetly as I had not slept for a long time. And a red-haired wolf sat on guard, preventing nightmares from entering my dream...

***

The morning is so sunny that it hurts me even to open my eyes. And with the first ray of the cold icebang sun, Tarrum's detachment continues on its way again. Still, I am forced to go along with them, captivated by the eternal enemy - man.

Snow burns white underfoot, and a cold wind torment bare, hairless skin. Nearby I feel heat from people walking nearby.

“Don't look,” Ilyas says, noticing how carefully I look at the protruding handle of Tosh's axe. He gets up, covering me with his back, so that Tosh, feeling someone else's gaze, does not dare to think about me. Only one thing worries me about you, Ilyas. Why are you, a man, having improved my interest, do not hasten to betray me to your master?

“I know about the ring, Leah. If you decide to get rid of him in this way, you risk losing enough blood. And even a drop of it is enough for the north to find you again. And then--and then he won't be merciful.

As if in Kobrin a better fate awaits me. As if Tarrum had a right to have power over me. Let me die trying. Anyway, I've been dead ever since I stepped out into that clearing.

- Stubborn ... Here's a savage, you'll run away anyway. Eh, Leah... You will perish, - Ilyas echoes my unhappy thoughts, - I will try to help you. Surprised? There will be no place for you in Kobrin, you will only call trouble. Although you look like a human, you still can’t deceive - the animal gut is higher. I know that you understand me. You are not used to playing in the forest, and your lies are visible to me. Yes, and Tarrum sees that you know our language, although you allow yourself to be led by the nose for now, - the man admits, - Listen to me, wolf. Wait until evening, darkness is the strength of every predator. The moon will rise, then I will help you.

Should I trust you, man? Do you trust to survive? Will you risk, Ilyas, going against the will of the North himself, but for whose sake? She-wolves!

But you don't have to lie to me. There is no benefit to you in this. There is only one thing left for me - to believe.

And I go further. On snow so soft that not one animal will touch it with its paw, leaving traces. As soon as it starts, it’s worth waiting and only then moving on. Only man is unaware of valuable animal habits.

I bite my lips until I taste my own blood. We seem to be walking through the territory of my pack, but where our patrols are very rare.

My home, merciless Icebang, is an icy peninsula in the north of Elloy. It is possible to reach the mainland only in the west, through the Living Strip, and for this it is necessary to cross our entire possessions. Tarrum knows how to choose the road. Only he could learn from only one source.

Red-eyed . Those who live side by side with us. Enemies you don't know. Wolves who dared to make a deal with a man. I would also like to know what they started, what game they started.

And what will it mean for my wolves. After all, I'm not just a she-wolf, I'm daan . So, in the answer for the fate of his flock.

Thief-r-ron. I will kill you, I will shed burning, cursing the blood that is the color of the iris of your eyes. I must break your back, destroy, crush, subdue.

“Tomorrow we will reach the live strip. Finally! - I hear a voice from behind, - Tired as a dog. This vyana cold... How can one live here at all? And the snow?.. The second day we go, or rather, we don’t go - we drag ourselves.

- Oh, Inna, and we all had to drag ourselves ...

- No more words! - Unusually abruptly throws Sattar leading the conversation, - Hope that the North does not find out about your conversation.

And the hunter is right. One person in Icebang would have simply been killed, and a small group would not have been attacked. But wolves recognize strength, titles mean nothing to us. And if Tarrum wanted to meet with the flock of the eastern shores of Erythra, first of all, he should have shown this strength. Therefore, instead of a couple or three, the man Larre Tarrum brought with him a lot more people.

You know what, north? For an outsider, you know too much about the likes of me. Too much.

With those two, Ilyas' friend continues to talk. Sattar shares with them how he loves hunting. Fill up the beast, put a bolt in his heart or an arrow right in the eye. He likes this feeling of triumph when the game is defeated and cannot fight back. I like to chase the beast on a horse, and then eat the flesh cooked on a spit.

He doesn't talk about the last hunt. Carefully avoids the story of how he filled up the coal-black she-wolf, and in the snow he found not an animal, but a female body.

He is not asked. But in their minds they only have this episode.

They came to the wolves, but they were not ready to see them without their skins. They did not know that it was possible to acquire other flesh.

We surprised them.

But I don't hold a grudge against Sattar. Who better than me to share his passion for hunting? I can easily understand this excitement that seizes a predator every time in pursuit of prey. Thinking about it, I remember the last time I hunted with a pack.

Then I ran so fast that only my skin flashed like an ink-black spot. And the deer were also fast, very fast. Ahead, only their mirrors with a dark border flashed by. They seemed to be unreachable. Suddenly, to my happiness, I noticed that one of them, a young male, was breathing heavily, unable to withstand the pace of the chase, and was limping on one of his legs.

He seemed to be right there, right there. Yes, but it is not true that the deer is defenseless and weak. With his strong and sharp hoof, in fact, he can easily break through even a hard and strong wolf skull.

I got very close to him. Kitan was next to me - my couple, my love, my support. He insured me. With a quick arrow, I rushed forward, aiming at the tender deer's neck. And I managed to close my jaws on his skin. My wolf was there all this time, helping me to knock down the yearling.

That time the hunt was successful. The flock managed to overthrow two more deer. We haven't eaten for over a week now. Not too long yet, but not too pleasant either.

The people of Tarrum don't know what it's like to starve. Go hunting, on which the fate of not only yours, but of your entire flock depends. Forget about satiety and fatigue. After all, the truth is that Icebang is our prison.

If we could, we would have fled long ago - only in the south there are more than one pack of wolves. To go inland, to where Elloy will have plenty of food for my brother, you need to take someone's property. Destroy those who would have lived there before us.

And it's not about pity - the animals do not know such a word. The truth is elsewhere. She's scared to admit it. We are ferocious predators from the north, whose packs are the largest on the mainland. But at the same time, we are not able to defeat our well-fed and strong rivals. Icebang kills its residents and makes us weaker day by day. Our bones already stick out so much that even the fur can't hide it. And the cold is the weapon of winter, which we are in no way able to overcome.

I see how the animals in Icebang are growing more and more angry. The day will come when, having lost all fear, the predators from the peninsula, exhausted and bitter, will move in desperation to the mainland.

They will die. Not all, but most. But first, the fertile southern lands will draw a lot of blood.

And I'm afraid of these times. But, even though I am a daan, I have nothing to give winter. It remains only to sing a memorial song over another wolf defeated by her ...

I confess, I had a frail thought that it would be easier on the mainland alone. But the she-wolf will only survive if she finds a worthy mate. Only then, where the sun is more merciful, perhaps I could meet old age, and not fall, feeling how the cold got to the heart. She could also become obedient to the will of the North. Who knows, maybe people wouldn't let me starve either. But still ... Submit to man! Unthinkable. I can not overcome my wolf pride. I can’t cowardly escape alone, leaving the flock in captivity of the Eisbane ice. It is unbelievable to imagine that instead of my beloved wolf with a silvery skin, I could give preference to someone else.

Because I love him, my Kitan. I like to feel desired, equal to someone in power, to share victories and defeats with him. Together we are endowed with a power that we do not possess alone. And here, surrounded by strangers, I feel more alone than ever.