I'm going to sleep in my own bed tonight, I don't wanna wake him up.I am scared of having another accident like I experienced yesterday, I don't want to put him through anything like that. I went to my room and fell asleep as soon as I laid down.

In the next morning, I still can't stop thinking about my mom.

Even thought we're not closer, I feels so happy she wants me, even just for a while, I need to feel the intense love for her, and that's feel good she give me before her death. It was so sudden she was just gone and it's hard to accept...