He drove me home in a taxi. It's not that late though. Only 9 p.m., but once again he insisted. This time, I didn't try to fight. He had been correct throughout our interview and then I admit that his company pleases me. In the taxi, we don't really talk to each other. The taxi driver had turned on the radio. I don't know which channel, but the host talks about a girl who leaves a club and was raped. It became a debate in the taxi.

The taxi driver: Good for her! Today's girls provoke men too much.

The front-seat passenger: What are you saying like that? This is no reason to rape someone else's child.

Wesley: Yes, but you also have to admit that you women are looking for that.

I hear Wesley and my heart skips a beat. I am disgusted that he could say such things.

Wesley: No, honestly! You flaunt your body, you turn on men in clubs. He spends his money on you and when he wants you, you rebuff him like a slob. Normal that it can drive some crazy.

Front-seat passenger: That doesn't mean anything.

My heart jumps three times this time. I literally boil. I want to yell at him, smack him. But I am silent. Luckily for me, we arrived on my street. I hurry out of the taxi.

Me: No need to walk me home.

Wesley: Don't worry, I don't mind.

Me: I say I don't want you to come with me. And by the way, don't look for me again. Forget that you know me.

Wesley: What else have I done?

Me: Tsuip!

I turn on my heels and leave. An asshole like that. I knew. I knew this guy was a born idiot. To dare to take responsibility for a woman who is being raped, I find that quite simply insulting. He can dream if he thinks he will see me again one day.

* IN THE PAST

15 years rather. It's 6:30 in the morning, I just woke up. I will get ready to go to school. Last night I slept with mom. It's been two weeks since Dad left home. Mom is sad. She cries every day. I didn't want to leave her alone. Besides, I too am sad. The day before Dad left, I had decided to tell him everything Bradley was doing to me. But on the morning of D-Day, I heard screams coming from their bedroom.

Dad and mom were still arguing. Mom insulted him while he was packing his suitcase. He had just told Mom that he was leaving her for another woman. Announce such news in the middle of the morning, so that you end your day how? But hey, even if it was the afternoon, it wasn't going to change anything in mom's distress.

Mom is still sleeping when I get out of bed. The room is dark because the curtains are closed. But when I get to the restroom, I find lots of blood on my nightgown. What is that ? However, I was not injured. I believe. I search my body for wounds and I see nothing. And I understand what it is. Yesterday, before I went to join Mom in her room, moreover it was also partly to flee Bradley that I had gone there, the latter came to visit me as usual.

I had pain last night. I've always had pain but this time it was heating up a bit. Bradley hurt me inside for sure. But with all the blood I see on my dress, it's definitely a big wound.

What am I going to tell mom? I can't tell him what happened. I'm scared of what she's going to do to me. Especially since since Dad left she's even more in a bad mood. I take my nightgown, I put it in a bucket full of water. I decide to wash my nightgown in the toilet. If mom asks me why I washed, all I have to do is tell her that my milk got on it and I wanted to wash it myself. Then I shower and get dressed for school. I go down to Lyam's without saying goodbye to mum. It is Lyam's mother who takes us to school.

A few hours later at school, it's lunch break. I don't play with others. I am in my corner. Today I am even more stressed than the other days. I am hurt inside. How am I going to make my injury end. I remember one day I fell and scratched my knee. I neglected this scratch which looked like nothing but the next day my sheet had stuck to my knee. The injury had worsened. It was now a sore that for a while kept me from well Wesleyher.

As I think about my wounds, I feel like something is leaking into my panties. I go into the toilet to look and I see a few drops of blood that have settled on my panties. My wound continues to bleed. Panicking, I start crying in the toilet. What am I going to do now? Mom will kill me if she finds out about this. I reluctantly decide to tell Bradley that I'm hurt. With any luck, it will even prevent him from touching me for several days, until my injury is over. To prevent the blood from getting too dirty in my underpants, I put the tissues that were in my bag. Mom always gives me a pack of tissues every week. When I get home, I'm going to clean myself up.

At 3 p.m., Lyam's mother came to pick us up. All the way, I'm scared. I pray that mom doesn't take too much interest in me and realize that I'm hurt. If she doesn't realize, I shouldn't go to sleep with her tonight. It's the price to pay if I don't want her to know what's going on. Upon entering the living room, my heart beats even faster. Mom is sitting on the couch, she hasn't gone to work.

Me: Hello mom.

Mom: Hello Roxanne, come sit down.

Me: Hmmm!

Mom: Come sit here. You and me we need to talk.

My heart is pounding even faster than I feel like it's about to burst out of my chest. I feel tears welling up in my eyes. I can already imagine how she will yell at me.

Mom: When I woke up this morning, I saw the blood on the bed.

Me : ...

Mom: Didn't you see that?

Me: No mom.

Mom: Really? Didn't you see a little blood on you when you were washing?

Me : ...

I lower my head. She understands what I saw.

Mom: Do you know what that means?

Me no.

Mom: It means you are becoming a woman. Didn't you see the blood on your boxer shorts when you were in school?

In response, I nod my head.

Mom: This is what a woman calls having her period or her period.

Me: But wasn't I already a woman?

Mom: You were a girl. Now you are a woman. From now on you have to take care of yourself.

Me : ...

Mom: You have to wash well. We'll go to the bathroom, I'll show you how to put the stuffing.

Me: The garnish???

Mom: Yes. The sanitary napkins you have to put on every time you have your period.

Me: Alright.

My heart goes down. Mom doesn't get mad because of the blood flowing. Maybe she's not in such a bad mood as I thought. Mom takes me to the bathroom like she said. She shows me how to wash myself and how to put on the towel. While I was at school she had taken care to buy me other underpants. The majority all black.

She says it's better to wear black when you're bleeding. She also explains to me that I have to change my towel every four hours. It shows the time when I put on my first towel, and I find the time when I should change it. I cherish this moment of sharing and intimacy with mom. She herself seems to be in better shape today. So much the better.

Mom: Oh yes! I forgot. Now that you're on your period, you don't have to stay with the boys too much anymore.

Me: Why mom?

Mom: Because if a boy touches you, kisses you, you can get pregnant.

Me: Huh? Get pregnant ?

Mom: Yes having a baby. But you must not have a baby at your age.

Panic rises when mom talks to me. Since Bradley is touching me, does that mean I can get pregnant? And since he comes every night, am I going to get pregnant every night? And have lots of babies? But I'm still small! I want to cry, but I'm still with mom. If I cry, I should tell him why. So I hold back for a moment. But the more I think about it, the more I fear. So I pretend to want to pee, and I go crying in the toilet.

A few hours later, I'm doing my homework in my room. Bradley enters.

Bradley: It's okay Roxanne.

Me : ...

Bradley: You don't answer when I talk to you?

Me: Hello Uncle.

Bradley: That's it! What do you do ?

Me: I do my homework.

Bradley smells bad. He smells of beer. It's not the first time either. Mom has even scolded him several times for it.

Bradley: Come and pet me a little first.

Me: Mom said boys shouldn't touch me anymore. I will get pregnant.

Bradley: What??? Come here, say so. Mom is out.

Me: But I have my period.

Bradley: Huh? Since when do you menstruate?

Me: Today.

Bradley: Who told you these are the rules?

Me: It's mom.

Bradley: Um! Come anyway.

Me I...

Bradley interrupts me with a slap across the face.

Bradley: Who do you dare to challenge? Come here !

Me: It's mom...

He gives me a second slap, pulls me towards him, gives me another slap.

Bradley: Did I ever tell you that you have no right to dispute what I tell you? Little slut, you'll see.

He opens his pants, lowers them at the same time as his underpants. Take out his penis.

Bradley: Suck it fast!

To be continued.....