Burial.

03 June 2014

The falling drizzle didn't bother the girl in black overalls. She is still trying to stand firm between the three mounds covering. Flowers were spread out beautifully on it. Each one already has a name, making her part of the family.

Her glasses were to cover up how swollen her eyes were from crying. Especially when the hearse arrived at her grand residence, she roared. She shouted in hysterics until she fainted many times, but the three people she loved so much would still not wake up to greet her. They were lying stiff, happy to face God.

They were leaving her, who was still very young, to face the world. The foothold that Fathia had fallen to have collapsed without any more support, especially when Tian told this sad news. And Fathia's collapse gets worse when she is allowed to look at her three family members for the last time, even though they are in a coffin. Papa, Mommy, and the older sister, Felice.

"Miss, drink milk first, okay?" Narti offered a moment before they all headed for the funeral. Since last night, Fathia did not swallow or drink anything. To her, all tasteless and filling at the same time.

"No, Narti. I don't want to," said Fathia while wiping her tears. The family, either from Papa or Mommy, has started to arrive. They all hugged Fathia and conveyed their condolences. Fathia still doesn't want to believe everything that happened so fast.

How on the night they said goodbye, Felice had advised her to be careful during the exam? If the value is good, vacation rewards to Bali are waiting. Fathia pouted because last year was the same; a holiday to Bali.

If she remembers, her parents gave her a lot of messages that night. Starting from maintaining health, don't forget to eat regularly, and one thing is bothering her now.

"Fathia must be a strong woman. Strike all that gets in your way. Don't even think about giving up. Clairine never give up, Fathia. You should know that." Alvin Mehram Clairine said while rubbing the top of Fathia's head affectionately. His eyes were gentle yet firm in them.

"Fathia is Papa's child. Surely Fathia also doesn't give up easily like Felice, who often wins the tender. Yes, right?"

Alvin laughed, touching the tip of his daughter's chin affectionately. "You're right—Felice example. But remember one thing. Papa would rather you live your life the way you have in your heart."

Fathia's brow wrinkled even more as her father continued his speech.

"Because the heart knows best, where it will be anchored."

"Fathia doesn't understand, Pa." Right. That's true. Fathia did not understand what her father was saying. All she thought was school, participating in the activities she chose to fill her spare time with and returning home. Life is not very colorful. Ordinary. Even for this fifteen-year-old teenager, having a close friend or just a boyfriend is entirely unthinkable. She is very different from her friends.

What they talk about can't be separated from talking about the handsome young man at school. "See. Very handsome, right, our student council president?"

"You don't need to understand. One day you will understand. Just remember Papa's message, okay?" Alvin looked at Fathia so closely. At the same time, the youngest daughter in the end nodded and smiled a slight assent to her father's request.

Fathia never thought those words would be the last message before they are now different worlds.

Again Fathia wiped her tears. The memory was so suffocating him.

"We're going home," said someone who made Fathia turn her head. She slightly looked up because the man beside her was towering. Her body is well built, especially this time. He wears a black shirt that is a bit dirty at the ends. During the funeral procession, this man did not hesitate to help the lowering of each coffin at its final crossing.

"Fathia wants to be alone." Fathia returned to rearrange the graves of her parents. Squatting a little just still wants to let go.

"I'll accompany you then."

She looked back and was right. Tian was the same. He aligned himself beside Fathia. "Tian just go home. I wants to be alone."

"I won't leave you alone."

***

"How was your college?" Tian asked while eating his dish. The grilled grouper menu is the choice. It seems appropriate considering that he had only eaten from the origin of the food this morning. Meetings are also meetings with many very time-consuming clients.

Not to mention Vino's many reports that discouraged him from just filling his empty stomach. If it wasn't for Mika's visit to the office, maybe Tian still had to do a thing or two. The seduction of the beautiful woman was enough to make Tian waver.

But now? So he was stuck with Fathia in one of his regular restaurants.

"So far, so good." Fathia doesn't know how many times she has chewed the corn cake, which is the menu's mainstay here. A typical Manado restaurant in Serpong is their destination. Fathia followed the significant steps of Tian, who took the lead. They had nothing to say the whole way.

Many things have changed in their five years together. Whether Tian feels it or not, what is clear to Fathia, the man beside her is getting colder and stiffer. His words were short plus full of orders and intimidation. As if what slipped from his slightly blackened lips was a must for Fathia.

Only this time, she heard Tian use his voice to ask. Usually, this thirty-five-year-old man's voice was only for commanding. That's what caused Fathia to stare at Tian in surprise.

"Your grades?"

The more Fathia's brows furrowed in confusion. Hitting on one center, Tian, who was now also looking back at her. "Not bad."

The motion of Tian bribing the fish paused slightly. Meet Fathia in the end. Then snorted softly as she shook his head. "Prepare yourself in two years, Fathia."

Now it's Fathia who doesn't understand the direction of Tian's conversation. "It means?"

"I can't work for you all the time. I want to be free from the Claire Group."

At first, Fathia was eager to finish the grilled fish, which was almost half of the left portion. Not to mention the sautéed papaya flowers that look delicious and want to add rice once again. But when she heard Tian's words just now, her appetite disappeared.

The words Fathia heard just now made her lose her appetite.

"Business is dirty, Uncle," Fathia whispered. Her eyes were downcast, and the image of her parents and sister saying goodbye on the last day they met five years ago came back vividly.

"There is me. You're safe." Tian spoke casually. He enjoyed eating without glancing at the little girl in front of him.

Hearing Tian's words, Fathia's heart suddenly heated up. "I remember that Uncle spoke to Felice as well. What do I get? My brother's coffin." She put down the spoon that was still filled with rice earlier with a little Tian. She grabbed the small bag earlier and left Tian with a wound she could never close.

It doesn't matter if Tian gets angry in the apartment. This time Fathia needs to let go of the sadness that has plagued her again. Full of certainty, the sadness that still haunts her about the meaning of loss crashes into her mercilessly. It made the tears roll down her cheeks.

"Why, Tian? Why?" Fathia finally complained. At the same time, she stopped a taxi that passed right on the side of the road to the restaurant where she had eaten earlier. "Amore's cafe, sir," she said after sitting in the passenger seat.

***

"Why is your face like that?" Elma asked casually, wrapping her arms around Fathia's neck. Usually, Fathia will scream in disapproval because Elma's treatment of her can make her straight hair messy and messy. But this time, Fathia was silent.

Elma doesn't know how many times she stirred her iced cappuccino without interest. Even her sighs suggest that she is in big trouble.

"Suddenly mute, eh?" Elma was still babbling. She looked at her friend with a confused look. Since her arrival at the cafe, Fathia doesn't use her mouth to talk.

"Fathia?" This time, Elma used a low voice full of sympathy. Unraveling her embrace earlier, she replaced it with a soft touch on Fathia's shoulder. It’s know that she seems to be urging Fathia, who is often in a world that Elma can't touch.

"Why is my last name Clairine?" Fathia asked quietly. More towards the mutterings that Elma couldn't hear clearly.

"What did you just say?"

"I am home." Fathia then stood up and grabbed her carry-on bag from the table. Without finishing her Iced Cappuccino order. At first, she thought, meeting Elma in the middle of her busy schedule of managing a small cafe near her campus could ease the burden on her heart a little.

"Certain?" Elma doubted Fathia's words. If she has a lot of thoughts, the girl's habit can make her heart beat wildly. Fathia is like a mute girl who doesn't make a sound if her mind flies somewhere. Elma paid close attention to that. "You'd better be in my room. Rest."

Fathia stopped walking and thought about Elma's words that sounded tantalizing. The room on the top floor of this cafe has a view that makes Fathia calm. Elma's room window glass is quite large, showing a beautiful view of the surroundings. She often slept at Elma's place, making her so familiar with the parts of her best friend's room.

But if Fathia stay? Fathia has not dared to cross the boundary that Tian made. She had to be back before eight o'clock. Fathia must obey unwritten rules since the first time she stepped into the man's luxurious apartment.

"Roy didn't visit?" Ah, Fathia remembers one name. Elma's lover sometimes comes to her. Moreover, she remembered that it was Saturday. They don't know where the custom comes from if Saturday night is the official visit of the lovers to the girl's house.

Except for Fathia.

"Well… I can go out later, okay? Easy." Elma winced at being reminded of tonight's promise. For her, Roy could wait and be diverted somewhere first. The most important thing is Fathia.

"Nope. Next time." The girl gave her best smile. She didn't want to be a burden on Elma tonight. She was used to dealing with Tian, whether in the apartment or watching her over the phone. She didn't want to take the risk of Tian's words that had hurt him so many times.

Ah, just remembering her figure made Fathia sad again. Tian's influence on his mood was truly impudent.

"Be careful coming home. Let me know when you get to the apartment."

Fathia just gave a thumbs up and a fake smile. She didn't want Elma to worry more about her.

Bringing up the topic of Clairine in the conversation just now made Fathia tired. She could not deny that Sachdev Rendra was preparing herself to continue her father's business. All of Fathia's values and behavior are under Tian's high-level supervision. You can't recognize defects, and there are also minor scandals.

The sky is approaching this time of night, still does not want to expel the remaining sun. That was leaving an orange color in the atmosphere in the late afternoon. Then heaved a long sigh of preparation, returning to her luxurious cage. Not until she stepped up to stop a taxi did her cell phone ring again.

"Where are you?"

Fathia closed her eyes for a moment. Even though it had not been three hours since she had disappeared from Tian's radar, the stiff and cold man had reached her again.

"Campus."

"Wait there. I'll pick you up."

There is no need for an answer to just Fathia looking for an excuse to avoid. All she did, was step aside around the bus stop. Sit there. Spend time listening to the saxophone, which is a reminder of the living room.

A place where they can gather and share their joy there. Her mother's voice hummed softly between Felice and Alvin's exciting debate. Meanwhile Fathia? She chose to read her favorite comics while lying on her mother's lap. The warmth of the meaning of family to Fathia is now getting lost in her. It makes the sadness worse.

The playlist on her cell phone contains her father's favorite songs; Kenny G. Closed her eyes, filling her heart with many fond memories of fifteen years with her family. Whole. Until the roar of the car engine made her open her eyes. A man in a neat suit that Fathia knew was Tian's assistant opened the door.

"Miss," he greeted.

Fathia obediently got into the car without needing to say anything else and was in the car already waiting for the figure of a man waiting for him. Tian. He was sitting stiffly, expressionless, his eyes icy cold.

"Don't add to my burden, Fathia."

Those words were so imprinted in her heart. Not only once or twice, but Tian also said things like that to her. Tian often told that to Fathia. doesn't Tian understand that those words hurt Fathia's heart? Fathia wanted to protest, but she didn't have the ability anymore. She tried to argue or voice his objections, but she couldn't.

"Sorry, Uncle."