My name is Karli Hanson, and I'm a tease.

Now I know, I know, I'm the worst, how dare I blah blah blah. But hear me out, OK? Teasing men is a totally victimless crime. Really, where's the harm in bending at the waist, or rocking some short shorts, or going without a bra for a day? It's not as if it's my fault I was born with good genes and I take care of myself. Like, if I were some deuce-and-a-half lardo acting the exact same way, people would just look the other way and not judge me at all.

Unfair double standard, that's what that is.

Besides, it's...