Derrick just held my hand while he just stroked it. Then he looked at me, and I still don't know if I can say it now or even have the courage to do so. We were quiet but he wasn't angry with me. He didn't shout at me or force me to say that even though I knew he was curious.

He was just waiting next to me, hugging me, and of course he was willing to accept all the resentment he could get from what I said. I was just looking at him and realizing if another man was with me now, would I feel the same way?

If...