Mom, as if reading my mind, as she playfully grabbed an oyster, pulled down my chin, and popped an oyster into my mouth, saying, "I imagine Jake is very well endowed."

"He sure can reload quickly," I said and then covered my mouth realizing what I'd just said. Oops!!

"What does that mean?" Mom asked, leaning forward suddenly with great interest.

"Nothing," I said, even though I knew I was about to be interrogated by a woman as thorough as Jack Bauer... she always broke through my barriers.

"What have you done, Missy?" she questioned. No, let's stick with the word 'interrogated', because that's exactly what she always did to...