Suzume:

I started out running at full speed, but soon I sprouted my wings and I knew something felt off. Everything feels really off as I am beginning to be afraid of the entire plane. Seeing these ancient things around is causing my mind to split between the two, as if I am from this time. I understand that we all have lives in the past, but that shouldn’t interfere with me now, and it is.

“Am I even here?” I question aloud as flying over the many trees below, the festival going on with everyone else enjoying the celebration, but not me. I have no idea how to even feel over seeing all these familiar sights that I feel so connected to, yet so distant from.

Tears pool as I try to think, yet noting comes to mind, just an endless void, a continual feeling being torn apart by something, a feeling of intense dread and a looming threat that is meant only for me. It fills my entire being. Being claustrophobic in my own body.

Flying in no particular direction, I hear and see a group of souls in an opening surrounded by the forest, but there is a large number of them all from the festival. They are moving in elegance to unheard music and it’s enchanting as I set myself down, a distances away, but looking on. Some are in pairs, some are alone, all look to be pleased and free of any burdens such as I am. A feeling a familiarity bubbling up. But unlike before I’m not torn about this. In fact I am quite eager to join in, but hesitant to.

On the edge of opening, I sit myself besides a tree, folding my legs close to my chest and watching on in humility as I wish to be as elegant as them, I wish to have that confidences within me to be apart with them. I want to alleviate my inner pain that I am feeling and I feel that dancing would be the best thing. I just don’t know how to start.

“Mademoiselle, are you wanting to dance?” A man steps besides me in clothing that I am not familiar with, but they do look dashing on the tall gentlemen. A tux comes to mind, though styled a bit older, something makes me think his clothing are from the Victorian era. His brown eyes and blond hair with top hat makes him stand out quite a bit from those dancing. He is also far taller then I am.

I keep myself where I am, while he plops down next to me and looks on. “Butterflies in your stomach huh?” He says with a chuckle, his smile as debonair as he is. He oozes those feelings and I crack a smile, feeling at easy in his presences.

“I don’t understand...I feel so torn right now.”

“To dance?” He asks and I shake my head. His voice soothing, and calm.

“About my life, going forward, I feel something incredibly sinister hanging over me, something that wants to cause me pain and harm.”

“Fear of the unknown,” he answers as if that is the case. I look at his smiling face again, he looks as if he wants to have fun, and go dancing. It’s as if he is waiting for me to accept his original offer to go and dance with him. He must be eager but I’m not as willing as he thinks.

He shakes his head, standing before me and taking a deep bow, reaching a hands out, and waiting for me to take hold of it. “Not without you, Mademoiselle.”

I stare at him for a long time, wondering how he can be so formal and why he’s so persistent that it’s me who he dances with. But after awhile he rises his head, staring deep into my eyes and something clicks within me. Again that familiarity, yet so distant.

A smile arise on my face, though shallow, I hesitantly reach for his outstretched hand. Planting it in his, he smiles at me, happy that I want to dance and the moment I do take his hand the scenery changes.

We’re inside a fancy hall, a gala of which everyone is already enjoying themselves with their own chatter and movements of elegance. The ladies are in large dresses akin to those from the Victorian era while the men in similar garb to the man who holds me hand now and is leading us into the fray. “I am Monsieur Alexander.” He says as we stop in the middle of everyone, they continuing their choreography as he bows again, another smile and I look down upon myself. I’m also in a similar dress and although I am hesitant, I let Alexander lead. As we begin our dance.

I flow in his movements, he knows how to dance, he knows how to act and take charge. A ladies man. All these thoughts about who he is bombard my mind. I soon begin enjoying our dance and I start smiling and even let out a laugh or two as he continues to enchant me. Taking a hand, we stretch out from each other and I am passed along to someone else as he takes another lady.

But we find our way back to each other and now that he sees that I am much happier, I blink and now I am him, staring down at myself as we continue to dance. I feel his confidences even more, his ecstatic nature and utter fearlessness. They feel as if they are my own as we dance for a bit longer before we both stop and I stare down into my own eyes, and with no real reason, I tell her, “All you need is a bit of bravery.”

She nods as I return back to my body and see a wisp of Alexander enter my chest as I am now standing in the center of those souls that were dancing. The fancy gala gone and my dress now a Yukata again. All eyes are on me. I have a bright smile on my face, but as the scene before me sets in I recall my worry.

Someone begins clapping, and others join in, all congratulation me, saying how they are proud of what I’ve done, of which I’m not even quite sure of what. I take a step forward, wanting to leave the area as I see that it’s now littered with a red flower where as before that scene change, it was but dirt and grass.

Red Spider Lily comes to mind and I try to avoid them as I walk past many and come upon Mine who looks a bit startled but gently smiles at me. “We need to go find a Burden.”