What does this mean? He wasn't even angry.

After hearing those words come out of Ryan's lips, my jaw hung slightly open. His reaction surprised me. I wasn't expecting him to be that concerned. When I realized how I felt about his acts, it was impossible for me to think that he wasn't infusing such a high level of rage in his own mind. Even as I stare at his calm gaze, I can feel my own eyes shaking.

The realization that we had been making eye contact for quite some time caused me to massage the side of my forehead as I glanced down. This is bad, Idon't want...