When you talk about a wolf, you see its tail,

or the first meeting with the past.

The morning greeted me not too joyfully. I woke up not getting enough sleep, from sunlight beating directly into my eyes, and pain in my back, due to the uncomfortable position in which I spent the whole night on the wreckage of the bed. Looking around the room with a quick glance, I realized that repairs could not be avoided - everything was destroyed. Yes ... the she-wolf and I had a lot of fun, you can’t say anything! Despite the chaos around me, a smile involuntarily stretched on my lips. I am Vladimir! I remember everything - and this is the main thing! Obscurantists with a pogrom in the apartment, soon I will live anyway ... where?

Of course, the most logical thing would be to return to the pack and talk to Arthur. But what if the leader really erased his memory? Then you won't be able to talk. Moreover, I strongly doubt that they will let me into the territory of the community at all. And what to do? Contact your parents in some way? No, not at all an option. I remember too well the indifference on their faces as I stood tied to a post in the square. They disowned me. This also applies to older brothers and sisters. They didn't come to my exile at all. Did they really care so much about my life? Did I really mean so little to them that expelling me from the pack and erasing my personality to the root seemed to them an event that did not require their attention? And although the realization of all this responded with a dull pain in my heart, I tried to return to the pressing problems.

So, how can I talk to my beloved? Sneak somewhere? Yet he does not always sit on the territory of the pack. Or take a chance and visit the former community? You can try to sneak in unnoticed, but I have no idea how to do it. I was exiled before my initiation, and I don't know a single rule about how to behave as a wolf. You can’t completely rely on a she-wolf - yesterday I took her under control, where she will now remain. Of course, she has instincts, but relying only on them is pure madness! So, before I dare to go to the community, I need to properly practice being in a wolf's clothing.

Will I be able to flip over again? The question took me by surprise, causing the wolf inside to snort offendedly. Don't be mad, my dear! Let me gather my thoughts...

Yesterday's change of incarnation happened too unexpectedly and abruptly, while I had no control over it.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to sit comfortably on the bed, and, as we were taught in the community, I relaxed, mentally imagining the habitat of my inner beast. What exactly this place is - they never explained to us, saying that everyone has their own, and the understanding of what it is will come immediately after the first appeal. Weird, but it worked! After a few minutes of silence, I saw myself standing in a small clearing in the middle of a nighttime summer forest. Fireflies and moths swirled in the air, many flowers grew around, shimmering in the soft silver light of the moon, and the soothing murmur of a stream was heard nearby. Beautiful!

On the other side of the clearing, a large black she-wolf with piercing green eyes stood and examined me, just like I did her. With every step she took in my direction, the skin shone with silver from the light of the night luminary. I just as cautiously walked towards her, remembering the stories of older werewolves about how important the first contact with the inner beast is. After all, if for some reason a wolf is offended by a human essence, the change of hypostasis and being in a second guise can turn into a real nightmare! The discord between man and beast often drove werewolves to madness, which I personally absolutely do not want!

- Hello, my beauty, - having met the wolf in the middle of the clearing, I squatted down, looking at her from the bottom up and carefully stretching my hand towards the muzzle. - Will you let me? I will never harm you or hurt you.

Nothing happened for a minute while my other self considered my proposal. I was already beginning to worry that too much time had passed since my eighteenth birthday, and now the beast might not accept me. For me, and so a big mystery - how I did it at all! But here the she-wolf was able to surprise me. Instead of burying her muzzle in my palm, as a sign of her acceptance of me, she snorted and fell on her back at my feet, explicitly hinting at permission to scratch her tummy! She even wagged her tail a little! The highest sign of trust! We are wolves, we open the stomach only next to those whom we trust as ourselves. This is the weakest spot! And the fact that now my she-wolf showed me her absolute trust touched me to tears. Or were they tears of anger, and resentment against the former flock, for

- My girl, my good smart girl, - I whispered to her, swallowing unbidden tears, burying my hands in soft black wool, - we can handle all this, right? Of course we can! And one day, I promise you, we will run with Arthur, through the forest, at night. Can you imagine how great it will be? Let's run and swim in the moonlight. Leaves and patches of earth will fly out from under our paws ...

The she-wolf listened attentively, and, judging by her contented purr, she liked my words. I also liked the picture that appeared before my eyes, described by me.

The apotheosis of the action was that the she-wolf licked my face! With a yelp of surprise, I rolled awkwardly onto my side, landing on the grass next to her. At the sight of her dumbfounded muzzle, I, unexpectedly for myself, laughed. Sincere, pure and even a little childish! The she-wolf, who decided to share my mood, lay on her side next to me, throwing her paws at me, imitating hugs. I answered her in the same way, burying my hands in the fur and hiding my head in the region of her neck.

We lay like this for a long time, enjoying our unity and the newfound inner harmony. Thoughts flowed lazily in my head, preventing the burden of reality from falling into our small and cozy little world, ruining everything. Now all the stories about the disagreements between the werewolf and his inner beast seemed like empty tales. How can this be? Doesn't fit in the head. Everything is so simple - trust the beast, and he will trust you in return. Or is it just me?

Apparently, I am a very specific werewolf. And yes, I have an unusual wolf. Previously, dreaming of going through initiation and finding my beast, I thought that my she-wolf would be the same as everyone else's - small and gray. The only thing I could hope for was that the color of her color would be dominated by lighter ash tones. And that's it! In fact, here's how it turned out. Healthy black wolf. Alpha!

Slowly opening my eyes, I emerged from the habitat of the beast, again finding myself sitting on the bed. Well, now you can try and spread. The wolf's roar confirmed her willingness to experiment. I, too, was ready, though I didn’t know how to do it at all. No, I have seen more than once how wolves did it in the community, using daggers. Yes, and throwing the leader (so that he chokes on a bone and dies in terrible agony!) And I also saw Arthur. My sapphire wolf did it easily and naturally. But what did he do about it? What did you feel about it? Maybe he mentally turned directly to his beast, and he changed his hypostasis? At this conclusion of mine, the she-wolf snorted, showing that she would not do that. Or it can't. However, it does not matter - the meaning of her snorting does not change from this.

Maybe I'm missing something? Arthur said that all alphas of the inner wolf have a name. This is something so intimate that the name was shared only with the closest people, and even then, not with everyone. Basically, when the alpha got a mate, he could tell her the name of the beast. And he could not speak - everything is very individual.

But he gave me a name. Sapphire. His wolf's name is Sapphire. Why exactly, he promised to tell me after his return. It is a pity that by that time I had already been expelled. And it's a pity that during all this time Arthur never came to me.

Not! You can’t name the name of the wolf and just forget the one that opened up so much! There is definitely something wrong here! And if I'm right, and my beloved leader really erased a piece of memory - you need to think about how to fix everything. And for this I need to learn how to flip.

Unfortunately, of all the possible names for my inner she-wolf, only "Asterisk" and "Spark" came to mind now. The she-wolf, closely following the course of my thoughts, no longer growled, but simply grimaced defiantly, covering her ears with her paws. It is clear that she does not like such names. And, to be honest, me too. Having mentally agreed with her that we would come up with a name together a little later, I began to recall my yesterday's feelings before the transformation. My head then split into pieces from acute pain, but it seems to me that I destroyed the block that stood in memory. What happened after? It seems that the cramp twisted the whole body, passing very quickly - barely having time to start. Maybe that's what it is?

Causing convulsions in the body turned out to be a very failed occupation. Nothing worked! I even got a little out of breath, diligently straining my whole body in order to eventually change my hypostasis from a human to a wolf, but as a result, I only got an indignant sigh from the she-wolf. I am definitely doing something wrong. It remains a mere trifle - to understand what exactly!

I was interrupted from my thoughts by a knock on the door. Wow, this is something new! For all the time spent in exile under the person of Mary, I could not make friends, so I do not expect guests. At all. Moreover, to be honest, I don’t remember a single time that anyone rang at the door of my apartment at all!

Throwing on a bathrobe, I began to stealthily move towards the hallway, quickly scrolling through my mind the options of who could be standing on the other side of the door. Leader? Excluded! He could not know that I remembered everything. My memory returned to me at night, and I had not yet left the apartment, and I had not spoken to anyone. Unreal... Arthur? I would like to, but it would be too good to be true.

Maybe one of the neighbors is there? With the she-wolf, we staged a notable pogrom, maybe the caring residents decided to find out if everything is all right with me? Or called the police at night, and she arrived just now?

Another trill of the bell made me flinch nervously. Guards! What a fool I am! Each exile exiled from the community was always assigned one or two wolves from the pack in order to spy on him. How could I forget about it?! And, of course, the leader assigned someone to me! But who?! After going over in my mind all the faces that I had seen over the past year that managed to emerge in my memory, a new wave of panic covered me. Pressing my hand to my lips, in a pathetic attempt not to moan out loud, I closed my eyes, diligently evening out my breath. Behind the door, if I'm right now, there should be one of the guys living in the apartment opposite. Igor, or Oleg. Two brothers with whom I hardly know each other in exile. Just said hello when we met. But before that, while still living in the community, I knew perfectly well two guards, for whom no less number of girls sighed,

This is the end! Two seasoned werewolves could not help but understand that I had spread yesterday. I made too much noise - howled, whined, growled. And one look at the apartment will be enough to confirm without a doubt that a wolf raged here yesterday.

Squeezing my eyes shut, as before jumping into cold water, I opened the door. There is still no other way out. I have nowhere to run. Yes, even if there was where, you won’t run far from the guards. Of course, they are not beaters, but now I can’t even cope with a simple wild wolf, to be sure about two wolfdogs.

- Hello Maria! - on the threshold, as I expected, was one of the brothers - Oleg.

The fair-haired man carefully examined me with cold gray eyes, causing a desire to whine and hide in the farthest and darkest corner of the apartment. The light, polite smile that seemed to have grown to his handsome face did not smooth out the impression from him.

- Are you alright? – not waiting for my answer to his greeting, he asked, looking into my eyes.

I had a lump in my throat. Looking at a member of my former pack, I felt like a worthless and pathetic human being. Oleg, taller than me by a whole head, seemed to occupy the entire space of the landing. And it wasn't about the bulging muscles tensing under the sleeves of his shirt, and it wasn't about the commanding stance in which he stood waiting for an answer. He was surrounded by an aura of authority and strength that were beyond my control.

- Mary? the guest reminded me that he was still waiting for my answer.

"Good morning," I mumbled in a suddenly shrunken voice. – Did something happen?

Oleg narrowed his eyes, giving me another look. The she-wolf and I froze at the same time. But if everything inside me was shrinking from fear in anticipation of an imminent catastrophe, then the she-wolf crouched to the ground and bared her teeth, preparing for an attack.

My dear, don't you understand that this is in vain? Even if we managed to change our hypostasis, I doubt that we would be able to cope with Oleg's beast. Even if I were an alpha a thousand times, without experience and training, I would not be able to withstand even an ordinary wolfdog. But his brother must be around somewhere. And let a miracle happen, and I will be able to defeat one werewolf - I can’t cope with two under any circumstances.

The she-wolf accepted the course of my thoughts, and even mentally agreed, but did not change her position. And right! To die, so with the song! And let no one then say that I did not fight! If anyone even remembers me...

- It was very noisy at night, - Oleg frowned a little, glancing at the opening space behind me with a tenacious glance, - I came to find out if something had happened to you.

Glancing over my shoulder, I bit my lower lip in annoyance. The view of my security guard was just beautiful! The floor covered in long ragged claw marks. The same marks on the walls, accompanied by hanging pieces of wallpaper. A wardrobe smashed to pieces ... Hmm ... And, unlike me, his instincts and scent have long been developed, and it will not be difficult for Oleg to understand that I was a weirdo in the second incarnation.

Lowering my head, I silently waited for my verdict. Surely he has clear instructions from the leader, in case I suddenly remember everything. I doubt about the change of hypostasis - after all, I have not heard about alpha girls, nor about the passage of initiation with such a long delay. But what exactly they will do with me - they do not know. Maybe they will kill, or maybe they will erase the memory again.

I grimaced at the thought of waking up in the hospital again, remembering nothing. No, it's better to die than to go through this again. The wolf inside snarled in agreement.

- Maria, are you okay? - Tired of waiting for an answer from me, Oleg again decided to ask. - You look frazzled.

“Uh-huh,” she muttered back to him, not taking her eyes off his polished black boots. - Repair started. I've been trashing the apartment all night, so I'm tired.

Grunting the first thing that came to mind, I expected anything but his quiet laughter in response. Raising my head in surprise, I looked straight at the guard, waiting for an explanation of his amusement.