Dark brown deep-set eyes, with dark circles underneath, small pointed nose, thick black 4c hair in long natural braids, plump pink lips pulled down in a disappointed frown; all set in an oval shaped face. I stared at myself in the mirror, wondering what it was about me that made me, me.

I wondered why I was created and what exactly my purpose on this earth was but sadly came up with nothing. How was I real? I couldn't possibly truly exist in this form, could I? I reached a hand towards my reflection in the mirror, suddenly becoming very aware of my existence as the girl in the mirror also reached a hand towards me.

I was dissociating again.

I didnt have any special talents. I didnt have any acquired skill—my parents wouldnt let me learn fashion design due to some social standard trash reason—I didnt have a particularly nice singing voice, nor could I move my limbs to any dance move. I was just useless. An unwanted burden on the balance of the world. I didnt belong here, and I knew it.

I inhaled and exhaled and watched my breath fog up the mirror, and with my index finger, I drew a heart in the fog I'd created. What exactly makes me so different from everyone else? What exactly is wrong with me? Are destiny and fate working so strongly against me that I have to have this kind of life? Why exactly-

"Dumb mistress! When you're done staring at your ugly face in the mirror, will you please step out!" Stephanie's high-pitched shout from the other side of the door made me jump and I quickly stepped away from the mirror, packed my toiletries, tightened my towel around my chest and hurried out of the bathroom we both shared. How had she known I was staring at the mirror anyways?

And, she thought I was ugly? I wonder if that's what everyone thinks too. I don't particularly have any thoughts about myself or my appearance. My mother has always controlled the way I look and now being in the school dorms, away from her and our maids who picked my clothes out, I was suddenly thrown into the realization of having free will and an identity.

I didn't know what to make of that.

"Hmmh! I hope you didn't leave crap in the toilet? I don't even want to see your face in the morning, talk less of your crap." Stephanie said to me, her face scrunched up like she had mayonnaise mixed with groundnut and vinegar stuck in her throat and I just swallowed the come back built up in my throat and bent my head as I slowly walked to my side of the room to get ready for class.

It had been a week since resumption and we were already knee-deep in homework and projects. I put on my ironed, cream colored long-sleeve shirt, red checkered skirt, red blazer and finished it off with our red and cream, stripe design bow-tie; then packed my things for school and left the room before Stephanie could come out and yell at me for another thing again.

It was still 5:38am and assembly didn't start until 7:30am. The hostel-mistress hadn't even rang the 'wake-up' alarm yet, so I made my way to Mary's room, mostly in the hopes of meeting her roommate. I don't know why, but since that day in class, Mary has been acting weird around me and everytime I ask who her roommate is, she just shuns me or changes topic. I knew something was wrong when she forbade me from coming to her dorm room at certain times during the day and I was worried she had a crazy-ass roommate like mine and didn't want to let me know.

I contemplated knocking as I got to room 4, but then decided against it and I just opened the door and walked in. It was unlocked.

My reaction was slow to the sight that greeted me but when my brain finally registered what my eyes were seeing, I let out a gasp.

Mary and the new girl from Stephanie's clique—Clara, I think her name was—were on Mary's bed, laughing their asses out over something unknown to me. My coming in made them pause and Mary's face took on a shocked look, mirroring mine.

I turned around and quickly left the room.

I didn't know where to go, and I didn't want to go back to my dorm room to Stephanie's hateful words, so I just walked out towards the school garden.

The relaxing smell of flowers invaded my nostrils and I smiled and closed my eyes, enjoying the early morning, dew-drop fragrance. After a while, I opened my eyes and walked further, away from the crazy world I lived in.

Morning dew slowly trickled down leaf petals and I bent down to collect one with my index finger. The dew felt cold against my skin and I just had this urge to lick it, and so I did. I brought my finger up to my mouth and smiled as the coolness met with my tongue. I let out a satisfying sigh.

Click.

The sudden sound of a camera shutter brought me out of my trance and my mind began racing as I stood up and brushed dirt off my knee, while frantically looking around for who it was that took my picture.

"Looking for this?" A shadowy male figure hidden behind a tree called out with a phone outstretched towards me, my picture fully displayed on the screen, and I ran with a racing heart towards the person but just before I got there, he laughed and ran away.

What the actual hell!

I stopped and bent over with my hand on my knees as I tried to steady my breathing and calm my racing heart. I didn't know who that was or what the person wanted with my picture but that was some really creepy shit.

I sighed heavily after a while of looking around for the intruder in vain, and then I looked up at the sun peeping through the dark, early morning clouds and I decided to go to the assembly and just wait for everyone else.

My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I was supposed to be in the dining hall with the others for breakfast, but my mood had been ruined since I woke up and I just trudged to the assembly hall, head hung low. I felt exhausted already.

Let's just get through today, shall we? Live life one day at a time. All that shit.

I sighed again. I really hate being.