All weekend I tried to convince myself that nothing terrible happened, but it turned out, I must admit, pretty lousy. This time, even the affirmations didn't really help. Gleb used to consider me manipulative rubbish, now, plus, I, for sure, have also become frivolous.

And if on Friday, by some miracle, I managed to “keep my face” and not show him how much pain his words caused, then as soon as I got home, the dam of old and new feelings broke through and I sobbed all evening.

Congratulations, Polina... you have reached the very bottom, there is simply nowhere to fall below!

What was I thinking? Okay, this is not only my fault, but if in my thoughts I had at least some chance to figure it out, then what Uritsky was thinking about, I probably will never know.

The race, adrenaline, skirmish, old grievances and the intensity of passions, it's not surprising that we were so covered and we pounced on each other.

But how do we look at each other at the university now? What if we meet in the hallway? God, we'll see each other for sure. And in the cafeteria too... How should I behave with him? And most importantly, how to withstand the ice of his gaze??

It's no secret that at the age of fourteen I fell for my brother's best friend. True, then Gleb made every effort so that not a trace of my great and pure love was left. But, apparently, on a purely physical level, my body still remembered teenage fantasies, and therefore all the fuses burned out in me, as soon as he touched me.

Fortunately, his contemptuous smirk at the end was a guarantee that this would not happen again. So you should just forget about it as a bad dream. About a very pleasant, but very terrible dream.

Uritsky, of course, is a rare asshole, but he will keep quiet about what happened, and if you are very lucky, then we will return to our favorite style of communication - complete ignore. Somehow we got through the previous four years.

In general, I reassured myself with all my might and tuned in for the best. But on Monday, when I saw the commotion in the hall of the university, I immediately prepared for the worst.

Usually at this time everyone is already dispersing to the classrooms, less than two minutes were left before the first class, but now everyone was actively discussing something and they were in no hurry to go to class. My first thought was that on Friday Uritsky somehow managed to take compromising photos, but I immediately dismissed it. To do this, it was necessary to prepare the camera in the box in advance, and he hardly foresaw how his trip to the track would end. Yes, and the students look at me without much interest, not like a few days ago, when everyone saw the photo of Kirill and Yana. So I exhaled and walked over to a bunch of classmates.

- Please me and tell me that Potapov canceled the seminar. I asked instead of greeting. Despite the fact that I spent most of the weekend at home, I never found time to prepare for the seminar, and this teacher was famous for his love of unexpected tests and impromptu tests.

“Not yet, but it is quite possible that it will be canceled if the respected authorities ask,” my classmate Igor answered and nodded towards the man in uniform.

— What has already happened? I was surprised.

- The girl from the fifth year has disappeared. Marina Selivanova, sort of.

The name seemed familiar to me, but I could not immediately remember who it was.

The policemen were talking about something with two fifth-year students, probably friends of the missing student, and the rest looked curiously in their direction.

The bell rang and the students began to slowly disperse to the classrooms. It became clear that no one would cancel the couple, at least with us.

In the cafeteria at recess everyone was talking about the missing girl. Alex was already sitting at a table with his classmates and waved his hand at me, inviting me to join. Over the previous month, I managed to get to know almost everyone, his friends, and now I tried to convulsively remember their names in case we have to communicate.

- Did you hear what happened? a friend asked.

I nodded as I sipped my coffee. "Any details?"

“Nobody knows anything,” answered one of the guys, Bogdan. He, as always, diligently deduced some patterns in his notebook. - Well, she was on an internship, it seemed she hadn’t appeared there for several days, but the authorities didn’t sound the alarm, what would you take from students? And then the relatives came to their senses, she was not local, she rented an apartment, she lived alone. Yulka Pivnova, her classmate, says that she called her the other day, the phone was switched off and she never called back. But they don't seem to be close friends. In short, it is clear that nothing is clear.

“Yes, she went on a spree somewhere,” Alice waved her off. - The fifth year, damn it, this study got her for five years, and they completely fucked up with these internships. There you work hard all day for thanks.

She was clearly talking about something sore. Alex once told me that Alice was pushed into the university by her parents so that her daughter could get a serious profession, although she did not have any desire for law. She seemed to be professionally engaged in dancing and wanted to continue in the same spirit, but her father was categorically against it and threatened to disinherit if she disobeyed. Apparently, she still loved comfort more than dancing, so she dutifully attended the university, but she did not put any effort into her studies and showed with her whole appearance that she was not here of her own free will, which irritated most teachers.

“Yulia said that she had a tough guy,” Bogdan recalled.

- Oh, and this is more interesting, - Alena, a red-haired beauty of a model appearance, picked up, and suddenly screamed. - Pivnova, hello! Come to us.

A pretty blonde came up to our table, Bogdan gave her his chair, and he went in search of a free one.

“God, I'm already tired of repeating that I don't know anything,” she sighed, although it was obvious that she liked everyone's attention. - We used to live in a hostel together, but she moved out to the hut for two years already. Look, you’d better ask Yegor, ”she nodded in the direction of an unfamiliar guy in line for food. - He, like Piero, followed Marinka, constantly doing homework for her, in the hope of reciprocity. But, you see, the breed is not the same ...