Amanda

I want professor Cole Russo to take my virginity. I don’t want to “lose” my virginity to him.

I want him to take it.

I can see the hunger in his eyes when he looks at me, a dark, animal hunger that gives me a window into his soul.

He isn’t like anyone I’ve ever seen before. He certainly isn’t like the two meatheads in my dorm room.

I’m surrounded by boys, and he is a man.

The vodka burns as I drain the red solo cup and slam it down on the table.

Shelly, my dorm-mate, is trying her best to keep pace. She’s gentle but naïve, and she’s had five different guys over since the semester started.

The two football players sitting on the other side of our little table are so alike they could be twins, short dark hair and thick muscular bodies.

Cody and Kevin don’t even try to conceal their lust as they stare at me.

Pigs.

I can’t blame them, not really. It’s Halloween, and I’m wearing a slutty costume.

Not a revealing costume, not a scandalous costume. A sluttycostume.

I’m wearing a tiny little plaid skirt paired with a tight white top tied together at the front.

My pure white stockings stretch up past my knees, and the pigtails and scarlet lipstick complete the look.

I’m the dirty little fantasy. The sexy schoolgirl.

I thought of professor Cole as I picked out the outfit, thought of him as I put it on.

I pictured his strong jawline, his tall, muscular body, his commanding, dominant presence.

If only I was confident enough to show up to his office hours wearing this, just to see professor Russo’s reaction.

Would he be able to resist breaking the rules?

Imagining his eyes devouring me as I stood before him. Imagining his hand coming down hard on my ass.

The thought makes me wriggle in my seat.

Kevin lets out a burp, bringing me back to reality. He reaches forward to grab the bottle of vodka.

“Alright ladies, one more shot and let’s hit the road.”

Shelly groans.

“No way. I’m not taking another shot!”

Kevin leers at Shelly, sloshing the liquid back and forth in the vodka bottle.

“Oh hell yes you are. I could run my god-damn Dodge Charger on this rocket fuel! We’re going to take it down like champions.”

He pours a healthy dose of liquid fire

into all four of our red solo cups over Shelly’s protests.

My throat is still roiling from the last shot, but I’m determined to keep up with these two meatheads.

When you can’t have what you want, you can always have vodka. Because I can’t have what I want.

Cole Russo might let his eyes wander over my body, but he wouldn’t touch a student.

Cody and Kevin stand up at the same time, holding their glasses high.

They both had the brilliant idea to dress up as, you guessed it, football players for Halloween.

While Shelly’s cat costume lacks creativity, I doubt anyone is going to be looking at her cat ears when her massive breasts are pressed together in her push-up bra.

Maybe if I had boobs like her I could seduce professor Cole. Who am I kidding?

Cole Russo is Adonis incarnate. We’ve been alone in his office together, and while he might let his eyes stray, he doesn’t want me bad enough to break the rules.

“Bottoms up!” Cody yells like he’s trying to fire us up to tackle a quarterback and downs his huge helping of hard alcohol.

I cheers with Shelly, and she downs the shot, screwing up her face adorably and pressing her eyes shut as she shakes her head from the burn.

The vodka sears my throat and goes straight to my brain. It’s only 10 PM and I am well on my way to wasted.

Good.

My older sisters are giving out candy in their perfect suburban lives with their perfect lawyer and doctor husbands.

As if they didn’t get their perfect lives from dad’s dirty money. I will never, ever live a life like them.

The vision of my older sisters perfect, happy white picket fence lives gives me a taste far worse than hard alcohol.

“One more for the road,” I say, hearing the slur in my own voice.

Kevin and Cody exchange knowing nods to each other.

“Amanda, are you crazy? We just did two in a row!”

“You don’t need to take this one,” I say, patting Shelly’s arm.

“I never refuse someone as hot as you,” says Cody bluntly, reaching out for the almost empty bottle of vodka and pouring the remaining liquid into our three cups.

We take it down without pause, and I am in that perfect state of drunkenness, the place where nothing can hurt you.

We rush through the rain to the party two buildings down. The wave of sound and people hits me as we enter the Halloween dorm party.

Cody’s got his hands on me, wanting everyone to know that I’m “taken”.

I let him because I don’t care either way, and I feel like I’m not even there, just an image of a person who dances, drinks, and laughs.

The night starts to blur in and out.

One moment I’m dancing, the next I’m pushing Cody away as he tries to force his tongue down my throat, the next I’m laughing with an utterly shit-faced Shelly as she downs another shot.

“I’m totally… going to blow Kevin,” she says, slurring, her make-up starting to smear around her eyes.

“That guy is an asshole,” I say, “they both are.”

“An asshole with a big dick. He sent me a picture,” she says, pulling out her phone and dropping it on the ground.

She picks it up with a giggle when Kevin makes his way back with two more shots.

He’s lost his shirt somewhere, his muscular body gleaming with sweat.

Cody is off in the crowd somewhere, grinding up against another girl dressed as skimpily as me.

“I don’t know if I can drink any more,” says Shelly, slurring, and Kevin laughs.

“More for me!” He downs both shots in quick succession, beats his chest like a gorilla, and pulls Shelly onto the dance floor.

I’ve drunk way too much, even for me. I’m blacking out, losing hours of the night into a blur of dancing and drinking.

When I snap out of it I’m in my dorm room, Shelly crying on my lap, her make-up running down her face in black streaks.

“That fucking… that fucking asshole! I can’t believe he sent out pictures of me!”

I try to focus. Pictures?

Shelly’s phone is next to me on the bed and when I see what’s on the screen my blood boils.

The picture is of Shelly on her knees, her tits out and about to blow Kevin’s thick cock.

Pure fury runs through my veins. How dare that fucking pig take advantage of Shelly?

“He - he sent it to the whole fucking football team! Oh my god… I feel so fucking sick!”

She can barely form words through her sobs. I knew Kevin was an asshole. But to do this…

“I’m going to fucking get him for that,” I vow, gingerly moving Shelly’s head off my lap.

I focus on the night. I can remember Kevin talking about his car not once, not twice, but three separate times.

Bright red dodge charger with black racing stripes. His pride and joy.

There’s no way I’ll miss it.

I stand up on shaky legs, the room swirling around me.

“What do you mean you’re going to get him?” Shelly looks up at me with wide, wet eyes, her tears paused.

“I’m going to hurt the only thing he cares about,” I say, opening the door and walking to the stairs.

I miss the first step and grab the railing, barely catching my balance before I tumble to the bottom in a messy heap.

I make my way down to the common room and open the door to the student parking lots, the cold October air hitting me like a slap.

I wish I had grabbed a coat but there’s no way I’m going back. Goose-bumps form up and down my legs.

I know Cody and Kevin’s dorm is one building down, and in the student parking lot, I see the tacky black racing stripes of his muscle car.

My room key is ice cold in my hand as I pull it out.

I take a moment to stare at my canvas before I start, then put the key to the door, my already goose-bumpy skin crawling as I hear the metal on metal scratch of the first letter.

A

S

S

H

“What do you think you’re doing?”

I stand up unsteadily at the firm, authoritarian voice. Fear grips my heart.

Run! Fuck, it’s too late…

I turn to see who’s caught me.

It’s my worst nightmare.

Professor Cole Russo is standing over me in Nike sweatpants and running shoes, the heat of his breath condensing in the air.

His eyes stare directly into mine, and I don’t see a trace of mercy in them.

“You’re coming to my office. Now.”