At the moment...

What am I doing here? It is clear that this is all a scam! What do I hope for?

The luminous ball from the joke shop did not inspire confidence at first sight. How can one see the future if lightning flashes uninterruptedly in the sphere?

Black wax figurines with smudges have never been lit: the wick on every single candle is pristine white. A huge feathered dream catcher swayed under the ceiling, threatening to fall on the head of a soul wandering in divination. The drum with the image of a flying bird is overgrown with a thick layer of dust and has long forgotten that it is capable of making disturbing sounds. There was a feeling that the magical paraphernalia of shamans and fortune-tellers from all over the world was dumped here. Suddenly, something will appeal to the client and shoot!

My father, who is firmly stuck in supporting roles in plays and always striving to stand out from the crowd with bright clothes, often says: “The main thing is to create a mood, dear! Works on most people!

And here they are going to establish my personal life and return love?! Perhaps I'll go!

“Stop, stop, stop, beautiful!” - a chaotic shout was heard, and then it started ka-a-ak: - Stop, child on the eighth day of the third lunar month of the nimble year of the Rabbit!

Oh, oh, take it easy! I can be scared too!

The third lunar month ... March, or what? Eighth? Year of the Rabbit? It's my birthday!

The curtain reared like a zealous horse, and I noticed a thin line that lifted the edges of the fabric in a "miraculous" way. And hurried to the exit even faster.

- Yes, you stand! I sounded so outrageously demanding that I actually stopped and turned around in bewilderment. – The god of medicine Asclepius guides you through life, and gives you a job under his wing!

Oh, how famously interferes with Chinese chronology and ancient Greek mythology! And what a coincidence that I work for a pharmaceutical company!

Ha, let's see what aces are hidden up the sleeve!

“The spirits say that if you leave here, something irreparable will happen!” Nobody can protect you! Will not help!

Something slowly floated out from behind the curtain: at first glance, you can’t tell whether it’s a man or a woman in front of you. A floor-length colorful hoodie was embroidered with masks and leather patches, bright shawls with ringing coins were carelessly tied over it, and a dozen different beads were hanging around the neck. The black wig, either by accident, or on purpose, moved down on the forehead, and the bangs completely covered the eyes. Because of this, the nose seemed not just big, but Georgian aquiline, and thin lips modestly disappeared against the background of the giant. A tanned giant, a little swarthy ...

“Sorry, but I better go. She changed her mind - for peace of mind, she tightly pressed a small bag on a chain to herself and scurried towards the exit.

Anna, don't rush! You will miss your fate because of your own stupidity! - something rumbled into my back in a singsong voice, and I seemed to have grown into the ground. No, no, not because of the superpowers of the "fortune teller", but because I heard my name!

- Anna Tikhonova, you came to me just in time. Tomorrow will be too late,” the “magic creature” continued to attack, which irritated curiosity. What an advantageous phrase! All according to the laws of attracting boobies. Just one thing is interesting: how does IT know my name?! And the date of birth?

That this is a woman, I strongly doubted. Judging by the tall stature, body build with broad shoulders and narrow hips, indicated by a handkerchief with coins, and a smoky low voice, in front of me was a man in disguise. A man who is actively trying to get used to a lady with otherworldly powers.

- Joe Lee? I asked, hardly remembering the name of the fortune-teller. I wonder if this man chose a pseudonym for himself, looking at a photo of Angelina Jolie? And did he deliberately stop at such a universal name? So to say: unisex, if anything - you won’t dig!

“Yes, fair-faced, I’m Jou Li!” I know that you need my help in love affairs. You've come to the right place,” the man continued to groan, waving his arms. In the subdued light, large rings sparkled with bright stones.

And for the life of me, I didn't believe it! I came here with great reluctance, I was driven by a single premonition: if I don’t try, I’ll regret it. But I saw fake tinsel and realized that I had fallen into a shameful scam.

That's where only despair will not lead a girl! And you will go through pseudo-fortune-telling like a pretty one, if only to return love!

“Sit down, there is no truth in your legs,” a strong, completely unladylike grip closed on my wrists, and I became wary and silent. Maybe sick? With the mentally ill, one must be careful not to provoke. Quietly and without unnecessary movements, I sat down on a frilly chair with a scarlet pillow to understand if everything was in order with the head of the magical master.

Help! "Guessing" was inspired by the victory and placed himself on the other side of the table, covered with red velvet, and away we go:

“Twenty-five you, unmarried. A man in my head, a man in my heart, even my legs buckle, and then because of the man, - a swarthy, clumsy finger with burrs confidently pointed to the area of ​​\u200b\u200bmy stomach, bulging black eyes tenaciously held the client at gunpoint.

She froze nervously. And several times I reminded myself that in front of me was a charlatan.

“Women are scurrying around him. You will lose your loved one if you don't do as I say!

At this point, she closed her eyes, throwing off an obsession. Well, everything is like a knurled one and the same. Nothing new!

- You wrote in the announcement about a special technique, about an unusual approach, but for now you are using all the old tricks. And you call yourself an innovative fortune teller! – nodded in the end without much respect and stood up. - Goodbye!

What was I waiting for? Even though the advertisement looked extremely unusual and attractive, screaming about an innovative approach, what did you expect? That a magic pill of love will be given here, and I will dissolve it in a wok with seafood? Will they write a plot on Pashin's favorite double espresso from Starbucks? Or will they sell a passion ink pen, where each written word increases the passionate attraction to me?

Bypassed the fortune teller's side and will continue to! It's not for me! Complete scammer!

- Don't leave. I will help, as promised in advertising - innovative! - the man tore off his wig, breathed a sigh of relief, obviously worn out under black curls, and pulled the hoodie over his head, remaining in a polo shirt and jeans.

- What a transformation! - the best magic here, almost like a metamorphosis "from chrysalis to butterfly." Only here the stages of transformation and the order are incomprehensible: which one is a tight cocoon, and which one is a colorful insect. But go on without me. Goodbye!

"Didn't you want a new approach?" - the man bulged his already large, almost bulging, brown eyes. He looked to be forty years old, Indians were clearly noted in his ancestors, maybe more than once, and so - quite an ordinary average citizen, if it were not for his passion for ... magic ... Or money!

- I didn't find it! – looked around pointedly. - One entourage. Even the fortuneteller, and that one - a fake "guessed"!

- There is a new approach! - the peasant tiredly kicked the bundle of the hoodie under his feet and freaked out from the heart: - It’s impossible to convey to the fools in love! I even opened courses, but because of the influx of fake gurus, love did not work. They will rent hotels and cars for the day, and they themselves live in a communal apartment one hundred and first kilometers away. After their failed seminars, the clients do not reach the real masters!

He has self-conceit, God forbid, but I understood what he was talking about. I myself have come across advertisements for a successful young businessman of twenty years old who sits in an elite car, boasts of wealth and teaches life, and at the end of a short video offers to sign up for his seminar. Naturally, he offers a unique, unlike anyone else's method of training, thanks to which you can make a million in a month, and buy an apartment in Moscow in a year. Are there really such people on the subject of love?

Then what do they rent for a portfolio? Businessmen? Although what I’m talking about is even simpler here: I hired artists, dressed up, wrote a simple script and filmed an interview with a love story, and here’s the story of poor Katya, who completed a course and found the love of her life. Oh yes, necessarily insanely rich love - no need to detract from the merits! And even better - a foreigner, because it adds attractiveness in the eyes of compatriots!

Perhaps even my parents would be happy to play in such a performance and diversify the exits between performances in the theater.

Cashing in on sisters in misfortune, as they can! And I almost filled up the number of fools!

Don't even start! I'm not interested." She stopped the man and stepped back. Retreat!

— I can give guarantees. Payment only after the result. You do not risk anything, - one by one he pulled out the trump cards "fortune-telling", which turned out to be an insidious seducer for deals in combination.

Is it really that bad with the clientele? Either you become a fortune teller, or you are ready to work for free ... - I was really interested.

— The competition is big, and the number of customers is getting smaller! Critical times force us to make difficult decisions,” the man objected in all seriousness, straightening up in his chair and pulling glasses from a drawer. Importantly he hoisted them on his nose and put his hands on the table. The image of the magician flew off like a husk: now in front of me sat a man with a teacher's bearing, perfect posture and a serious, even stern look. Put on such a jacket, roll up your black hair in gel - and one-on-one bidder.

At home, I also wore glasses, but I never managed to catch up on such a mentor look. And in general, it seemed that my gray eyes were completely lost behind the glasses, so I left the house only with lenses.

– It seems that there were always enough hopelessly in love fools like me? - sadly admitted the flaw, surprised at the changes. You will meet such a person on the street and you will never guess what he is doing! Plays on the stock exchange, teaches children at school, or… magic under the guise.

- Not at all! There are fewer and fewer lovers! You will soon die out like the dinosaurs. The age of feminism is in the yard ...

Ha! As soon as you do not justify your failures! And the independence of modern women, seminars, and competitors!

The man took out a blank sheet of paper and placed it in front of him. He wrote it in calligraphy in lines with such speed that I stared open-mouthed until I met Jo Li's eyes.

"I'm still going...

- Let's argue! We put ten pieces: if my first advice turns out to be effective, ten thousand rubles from you. No, this amount is from me. Well, on the hands? You will not lose anything! - the man turned a sheet of paper to face me, and the top line caught my eye: "Agreement."

- You will cheat!

Do you want us to sign a contract? Let's spell it all out!

I have never been afraid of papers with the letter of the law. As a person with a higher legal education in the service of pharmaceutics, she has seen a lot of important documents and herself has drawn up more than one hundred assorted contracts. But I was afraid of disputes for money, like fire.

Wow, tempter! It's all Indian blood, I guess! I couldn't take my eyes off this colorful character when I had to run with all my might…

But how would you like to experiment? Either the mood today is special, prone to extreme actions, or the stars converged so, but suddenly I wanted to take a chance. Do something crazy! After all, if you don’t like what the failed love guru advice, I will simply terminate the contract and forget about everything as if it were a minor failure. And if it works out ... Then I will save love! Save our relationship with Pasha! Isn't that what I came here for?

"Don't you need help with love?" I will teach you how not only to return your loved one, but how to bind to yourself forever! - importantly and loudly, raising his chin high, said the failed “guessed”. - Well, do you agree?

- Agree!

God, how did I get to this point?