The meat coma hit Vicki before I paid the bill. She looked down at her distended belly, which had just added a scoop of ice cream to the beef she'd eaten. She let out a very non-lady-like burp, then leaned against Liv and started to fall asleep. "I think she reached her limit on schnitzengruben," I said with a laugh. Liv didn't get the reference, but Blazing Saddles was twice as old as she was.

"We should get her home, she's bound to sleep until noon tomorrow after that performance of competition eating," Liv said. "She's not even five yet, right? How can that even happen?"

"Changes," I said. "She's...