I was everything I'd told Paul I was and worse. I kept referring to myself as a whore and a porn star slut, well porn stars and even whores and sluts didn't have sex with their sons. Worse was the fact I'd forced him.

I had sexually assaulted my son and there was no excuse for that. I could blame rage and stress and guilt. The fact I now felt betrayed in a sense by James and the way Paul had played me , knowing who I was and setting me up.

None of that justified what I'd done. In the time I'd had to lay here and berate myself...