I was in my private room because I had a lot to think about and also worry about. There’s Ezra, who has been blackmailing me with his secret, which is why I’m letting him stay here, and there’s also a woman I planned on getting married to just to achieve something I have desperately wanted, but it feels like nothing is going well.

It still feels like it’ll be impossible for me to achieve what I really want. I know that it seems easy to achieve, but it definitely isn’t. It feels like there is something I am supposed to do, but I am not doing it, or I’m guessing...