When I woke up I felt like I was smothering. My memory was misbehavin' as memories can after a long night of drink and it took me a few moments to work out that Sandy was lying on top of me. A few more seconds of horrified analysis had me realising that the bulk I could feel in my pussy was a Feeldoe (my second-favourite Feeldoe) and the business end of it was wedged deep in my sister who, of course, was lying on top of me and drooling slightly on my cheek.

It's an odd feeling when humour, horror and arousal all batter at one's head for attention. I...