But with the exception of my second pregnancy I'd never gone more than a few months without Luke in me. Not since we met at uni; even when we weren't dating we were fucking on the side. I wish I could honestly say everyone we were dating knew about it, too, but I can't.

Three years without sex was maddening. The very day after the divorce I spent about sixty percent of it, I think, masturbating and crying at the same time - I've got no idea what I was thinking, so seriously, don't ask - and then bam, no libido for six months. My best friend told me I...