JULIAN 

I watched her answer.

She answered with the specific and careful quality of a woman who had answered this question in various forms for twelve years, who had the particular and practiced skill of a woman who had learned to translate the language of a man who did not see her into the specific and functional responses he required.

She was fluent in it.

The fluency made something happen in my chest.

Not the cold thing.

The other thing.

The particular and specific thing that had been growing since September and had the particular and identifying quality of a thing that did not have a professional name.

I watched...