Because I know something bad is going to happen. It won't be voluntary on my part. Maybe not rape exactly, but knowing how you feel doesn't deliver me from my dilemma. I see myself in the movie; desperately trying to vacuum another man's seed from his balls on my wedding day. You'll never forgive me, Tanner. Never in a million years and no matter how much I will hate myself, I will do anything to keep this secret from you, even if it makes me do a thousand times worse. I'll keep my secret as long as possible, try to enjoy as much time with you as I can, but...