At one PM the next day, I was at Tiffany's meeting Hilda Oppenhoffer. Hilda looked like a female Nazi SS Officer, so ramrod stiff, severe and buttoned down, she looked ready to pop. Exactly the kind of person I wanted handling my divorce. I wanted this to hurt someone. It seemed to me, the way to make rich people miserable was to make them poor, and I wanted to turn all the Mason's into paupers.

"Is this a matter of infidelity?" Hilda asked.

"Infidelity, incest and a whole lot more," I informed her.

"Tell me more," she said.

Without going into every grisly detail, we made Hilda aware of what...