To say that I was hurt because of his apparent choice of his lover in the face of danger is not an appropriate word to describe how I feel right now. It's like I've been beaten alive and sprinkled with vinegar and salt. I'm in so much pain that it's wreaking havoc on my being right now. It was as if I had been slapped by a dozen hands by the reality that was repeatedly spread in front of me that I was trying to avoid. Tonight proved to me that the relationship between the two is more than I expected....

...which means I need to take my card out....