I glance at Joseph, stirring and mumbling, "Will you settle down, woman? Go to sleep," before drifting back into slumber. I slip from the bed and strip the sticky, wet clothes from my body, letting the night dress and panties fall to the floor. I move quietly down the hall to the bathroom and closing the door, I turn on the light. With shaky hands, I get a drink of water and then consider my image in the mirror.

The eyes of a mad woman look back at me. I have now had the dream for thirty nights in a row -- a month of being so close to having...