PUSHING THE TROLLEY in front of me, I throw random shit in. I have enough chocolate and wine in there to keep me sick and paralytic for weeks. I don’t want it, but I need it.

I need it, because I have just let the best thing in my world go with my full consent. I gave him no other explanation than the one I forced myself to admit to at the pub. It was hard to tell him he was damaging me, but it’s the truth. And in the long run, he would obliterate me just as easily if I allowed him to. So instead, I let him go,...