Lucas and I didn't talk after the incident and we were both silent. I didn't expect the outcome of our meeting to be like this, so I would have somehow avoided it. As I was figuring myself out, I'm not really sure what to expect next. I don't want to use him. I might as well turn him down and never go back to this kind of scenario again.

I was tortured, but I know what I will do is to find the courage to tell him that we should cut to this even if we haven't started yet. This is not the right thing to do, and I won't...