"Fine, I'll talk to her about it," I said. I hoped I didn't sound like a whiny 14-year-old boy, but I suspected I was failing.

"Good. And Ben? No kidding, if I come back from my European trip and ask Kitten how the prenup stuff went and she gives me a blank look, I will smack you so hard you'll forget weeks of your life. And if you don't sign one, get married, and it all goes to shit in a few years, I'll represent her pro bono on the general principle that you were too stupid to have that much money anyway," she said.

I laughed. I'd been on...