I turned and looked and saw a strap-on cock and lube. Each was wearing a Christmas ribbon.

She continued, "I planned to fuck him tonight for the first time."

"No way!" I repeated.

"Yeah, I was trying to rekindle our sex life," she admitted. "It's been rather dead for months."

"How do you know he's bi?" I asked, still processing this.

"From watching him suck cock," she answered, before smiling wickedly, "he didn't know I was home and especially didn't know I was watching from the bedroom closet; he's pretty good at it."

"This is definitely too much information," I said.

She added, "But when I got your dad's text...