It was two days after my romp in the elevator with Aunt Janine. I was asleep and dreaming about hunting vampires with an automatic weapon. The hoard of blood suckers were going up in showers of flame and sparks. Then there was a stunning blond vampire lord standing in front of me. She placed her hands on rounded hips and smiled.

'I have finished decoding the Codex Master,' she moaned licking her lips.

"This is some sort of vampire trick," I said leveling the weapon at her. The hell spawn shook her head and suddenly there was a scroll in her hands.

'Master, it is time to wake up,' the...