"Honey, if I can snag a 30-year-old granola boy, I don't care what the busybodies think. Fortunately, they're not our customers."

And so, mom started flirting with her new interest in room #4. Every night at dinner, I was treated to a progress report.

"I'm pretty sure I caught Mr. Owens sneaking a look at my ass today."

And the next night:

"Ray -- oh, did I tell you his name is Ray -- Ray said he had put me in my early thirties. Isn't that sweet? We're going out tonight, to The Bear."

The Bear was the local bar. Serious drinking, pool, darts and a jukebox. About as good...