"Well, this is a night full of firsts," I said as Carrie and Jenny stood before me in bikinis in Patty and Bill's suite. "First time seeing you all dressed to the nines, first time seeing you in bathing suits... would someone please tell me why I haven't asked you girls out on a date yet?"

"We've been wondering the same thing," Carrie said. "At first we thought you might be gay, but that was just for the first month or so."

"I guess we don't exactly put out a 'please date me' vibe," Jenny said. "I'm shy, and it's hard for me to loosen up. This is the first...