"So," Judy said after gobbling down a huge mouthful of pizza, "what exactly did you find in her anyway? You could do so much better..."

I shrugged, taking a sip of coke, keeping my gaze on the TV. I could feel my roommate's piercing stare boring into me as she sat by my side on the couch.

"Come on, Judy," I said, "do we really have to talk about this? It's over, okay. She's a shallow skinny bitch and I'm happy to be done with her."

"Duh, of course you are. She was mean and selfish and boring, and you're nothing like that. But that's my point. Why, Greg?"

"Why...