It took an hour for Jess and Amy to find dresses for the clubs that they liked, which was faster than I feared. Jess chose a sequined red tube dress that seemed to vacuum-form to her little body. Mom picked a metallic gold mini-dress made of stretchy lycra. It had spaghetti straps, showed lots of cleavage, and left the top half of her back bare. She couldn't wear a bra with it, and I loved the way her boobs jiggled in the dress.

We were back at the hotel by 11am. Brad requested, "Give us a fashion show, ladies. We want to see you in your new lingerie." It was...