"Yeah," he said. "But then we were joking that these were comedic masterpieces and deserved to be kept forever in museums, so we switched over to just texting each other pics."

I wanted to protest, but I realized that this actually gave me a way to see what was going on between them, so I kept my mouth shut. I just had to remember to make him delete them all when we were done.

"Oh, wow," he said after looking at his phone. "This one's a little more full-on than I remember."

"Let me see!" I pleaded. He did. It was a topless selfie from Clara. Her right nipple was...