On Sunday lunchtime we were all sitting around the table having lunch. Brian was at the opposite end to me. Occasionally our eyes met and he would smile at me. But in truth the main focus of my attention, as it always was on these occasions, was my elder brother, Jack. For ages I'd had a massive crush on him. Try as I might, it would never go away. I'd had a few boyfriends, I definitely wasn't a virgin, but my big brother was still my dream. Of course I had never done anything about it. I was seven years younger than him and he never really paid me any...