"There's a quote from a movie I like called The Rock."

She paused to finish drying.

"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

I was lost. She had a terrible Sean Connery accent.

"I was the prom queen and won track and field at school."

Not quite as lost, but unable to recognise the gift that was about to be bestowed upon me.

She changed the subject.

"I use Eucalyptus oil after every race. It gets the skin tingling, you know what I mean?"

I thought an Eucalyptus was an Australian mammal.

She oiled her skin with Eucalyptus and my nose tingled and...