Dammit I love my wife.

Her name is Meredith and everybody calls her Merry. She's perfect. She works a full-time job as a management consultant. She cooks, cleans, does the laundry and the grocery shopping. She files our taxes and she walks my dog. She's a slim, dark haired twenty-seven year-old hottie that pounces on me for sex at least twice a week. Plus, she's smarter than me and she can deepthroat like a pro.

I don't deserve her. I'm not sure anyone does.

The sick part? I was still only 99% happy. So why the 1% hold-out? I'll be blunt: she wouldn't let me put it in her ass....