"Are you going to, uh...take care of him?" I asked, my throat dry. My girlfriend was telling me she was going off to give my friend a handjob.

"It'll only fit back in if it's soft," she said. "He can't walk past all those families like this."

"It's a public beach," I said. "What if someone sees you?" I don't know why I was protesting the venue and not the act itself. Whatever it took to stop it, I guess.

"You'll have to stand watch," Mike said.

"Good idea," she said to him. "Come on." Somehow, my issue was batted away that quickly, and they took that as tacit approval....