I would have like to have left you more, but this property is all I really have. I would have left it directly to you, but I'm sure my son would have found of way of ruining everything by the time you were old enough to collect on it. So I've put a provision in my will that leaves it to my nearest blood relative, and I've instructed my attorney not to tell your father about it unless the lazy little shit comes to inquire about my estate. I figure if I leave him with something, it will make him think that's all I had. If you are reading this,...