And it was worse. Not only did I want to do it again, have it happen again, it needed to be continually MORE. What did that mean? I needed IT to happen again, a literal physical need, like the imprinting of a baby bird on the first thing it sees. My last time with David watching me as I lay naked before him tied up on the bed engendered such an intense physical, emotional response - what other word is there than addiction.

However, the true reality did not come home to me until I began to make preparations for my 'really intense session.' First, I could do nothing but...